Take A Moment & Ponder

"Out of the frying pan, and into the fire"

I think it is an apt description to what I'm in for. Each time I tell myself that today will be different, it just ends up the same, with me being irritated by the kids.

It's not that I even like the job, to be frank. I'll do my work and I get paid, that's a good combination.

Anyway, I keep telling myself that this week will be the last I see of them before I go for an "extended vacation". In some ways, I am thrilled to drop what I am doing now and embark on a new journey, a "real" job, some may say.

On the other hand, like that idiom suggests, it's not as if I'm really in for something big. It's a graded job with me being kept on my toes all the time. I really hope to be at least happy in it.

Now that I'll be gone, I won't say I'll miss those ickle children. I don't necessary like my position now because they keep asking me for help and what not. I don't think I am up to the job of being a patient person.

Due to this week being my last week working during the weekdays, I will try to be extra tolerant and giving. They always say, be at your best when it's your last. Sighs. However, I've signed myself up for Saturdays and you know that Saturdays are always the worst.

Why? It is because that is almost no ending time. At least on weekdays, by 10 plus, we'll be packing and getting ready to leave. But on Saturdays, if there are other matters to do, it means we have to stay back, unless I pull a fast one and balk. Obviously, I can't do that everytime. It makes my credibility go down and god know that I'm extremely pliant, most of the time.

My feelings on this? It's mixed, to be sure. I love the idea of not reporting to this job but it just means I have to report on the other job. I'm not happy, just numb, like always.

We do not exist for ourselves. When we are young, we exist for school, it is all for the future, they say. If you want to be successful when you grow up, you have to slave in school.

When that future comes along, you exist purely for work; your boss and your company. You slave even more, towards that bright light at the end of the tunnel. You want material things in life to make your future substantial.

There's almost no time to relax, to take a step back and exclaimed, this is not what I want.

But, I guess what is even more frightening is to really find out that what you are doing for, it's all for naught. Perhaps, you have seen the light and decided that worldly things don't matter anymore. Perhaps, it's better late than never.

But to start over, it's just plain discouraging and taxing.

Limbo of the Working Class

"My way or the highway"

Ha! I did some background check and found out that interns in Singapore are covered under the Employment Law. So, we too are entitled rights. What I need now is advice from a lawyer.

So, basically, once interns hit the 44 hours per week mark, employers are liable to pay us overtime. Seeing that my hours per week hit a whooping high of 50 hours per week, they better do so. Should they fail to do that, it means that I am in a position to bring this issue to the Liaison Officer, right?

I mean, I most certainly didn't sign any stupid contracts with fine print saying that I will sell my soul to the company.

For gods sake, I did a check on the average working hours per week in Singapore and around the world, Singaporeans still clocked in higher-than-average working hours than others. Normally, Singaporeans hit the 40 hours per week.

Well, I guess at least we get paid while getting tortured. And it's a good thing I am not in the hotel industry, they have shift work and some work for more than 12 hours. Are you freaking kidding me?! Never, I rather stick with office work.

They literally have us stuck between a wall and a cliff. It's my way or the highway, to put it bluntly. We couldn't say no to the Polytechnic, right? And once the company have been decided for you, you can't change it.

We are not given any choice in the matter at all. Unless, you count that pathetic excuse of self-secure. *roll eyes*

Whatever happen to the calm and poised approach I wanted? I thought that since this is something I have to go through anyway, I will be more open-minded. But, no, seems like I still freak out over it.

Sighs, whatever happen to my wishes? I am destined to get stuck in this limbo of the working class for as long as I live. Unless, a miracle happens.

Anyway, I'm not going to think so much, because whenever I think too much, everything just turn for the worse.

I'm not determined to hate it when I haven't even experience it. I am just writing what I feel and think. Let me pass my judgement on Judgement Day.

I still can't believe I am not even worth $2.20 per hour! Gosh, am I worse than say a typical construction worker? My mother's company certainly pay their foreign workers better.

Musings on Life

It is what we want in life that shapes the person within.

It’s true, we all started out more or less the same, as time passes, people change, for better or worse. And when we are in our twenties and look back at where we started, would we wish to change things then?

It is the priorities one has in life that makes him do the things now. Do you want to be a sportsman? If then, what would you sacrifice to get what you want?

I have priorities, in life and in schoolwork. Because I'm not that kind of person who go about life in a haphazard manner. Just like how you have a million and one things to acquire, but only have the means to get what are the most important first and leave the rest for later, or perhaps never.

I'm sure I'll regret not choosing the other paths, but won't Life even be more pathetic if I keep thinking about the "have-beens" and "may-bes"?

If I have a time-turner, I would love to go back in time and see the other paths. Would I have chosen them then, or would I still choose this, ultimately?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot. The meetings with friends and the suddenness of seeing myself out there, I have been thinking about life.

I don't regret going through my school years oblivious of the trivial things that had been going around. Firstly, I am not one for gossip. Secondly, frankly, I don't see myself gasping in horror or otherwise just because this guy goes out with this girl.

I've always been oblivious to the surroundings since young and maybe I don't plan on changing now. Still, it will be good to keep up with times now and then.

I am too afraid of being pathetic, of being stuck in nowhere. I want to change, you know? But it is harder than I thought. The human mind is resilient and I'll just have to believe.

Like what my lecturer said, "it's about the mindset, you can't be competing with people all the time, because you'll end up falling or getting a brain hemorrhage. Just compete with and push yourself. Just because you are lecturer and a friend is a CEO doesn't mean you fail as an individual. If you keep thinking about how unfair life is, then you will get nowhere."

Another lecturer said, "to be successful doesn't necessary mean in monetary terms or credentials. Perhaps, your parents are successful because their child has come so far. This is a form of success too".

Peaches & Lemons

Life is just peachy, isn't it?

I've endured for years, now that there's only months to go, why is it that I suddenly feel that things are hard to get along?

Graduation Day 2010 is in my school and this brought out a torrent of emotions in me. For one, I can't wait to graduate and put the full-stop in this chapter of my life. It has gone on for long enough and it's time to let go.

I won't go so far to say that I won't miss the times I have in Poly. Sure, there are moments I treasured and loved. But, unfortunately, that is far and between.

I want to wear the graduation robes and get my diploma. I want that experience and memory.

You know, for someone who grab hold on the past and the mundane so tightly, it is funny how I can let things go just as quickly. I like the predictable, the simplicity. I hate changes. But, oh, what wouldn't I give to experience something so wondrous and strange and unique!

It has always been my dream to study overseas, be it sooner or later. I want to travel, to see what I've seen on clips and articles.

Yes, I have good days and bad days. Everything else just falls in between. There are days when I feel as if life is just plain meaningless. Why do we work so hard for? Is it for glory? Is it to fulfil your materialistic gains? Because, ultimately, everything will end. Whether you are high up in the corporate ladder or just another man on the streets, everything will come to an end.

However, it boils down to one thing. Do you want to be the loser or the winner or at least be able to answer to yourself?

Despite sounding so depressing, I wouldn't worry for myself. Let's just say writing all these is a way to release my stress. Besides, there are things I've yet to do. Places yet to be travel. Movies yet to be watched. Books yet to be read. Entertainment yet to be seen. Goals yet to be fulfilled.

I may be a greater fool but I've not lose my mind.

Let us rewind back to school stuff. Semester 3.1 only has a word to describe it. Bad. Real bad. I can't wait for it to end and Semester 3.2 to come and go. Then, I'll be out in the lonely and cruel world. Just peachy, as I said.

Semester 3.1 is bad in so many ways. The lecturers, the subjects, the projects, the feel of things. Everything is just "off". Or is it me who is "off"? Perhaps I'm working on a different wavelength
from others.

Ha, I have yet to even see and experience a quarter of the real world but it seems I can be really insightful when I want to.

I've still a long, long way to go but I'm weary.

Anyway, as they put it, "when Life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolates."