Of Treasures & End

Today was quite the eventful day for me.

For one, I finally cleared and spiffed up my cupboards since years. It's on my to-do list this holidays, I just never got about doing it. Well, on this beautiful, last day as a free person, I did it.

I will give myself a pat on the back for a job well-done. I had this big bag full of papers and what not to throw away. In the midst of clearing, I discovered treasures from the past.

Can you imagine having diskettes still? Those should belong to a Museum of technology. Lots of mouse pads too.

I had uncovered diary entries that made me laugh in horror. Boy, was my spelling atrocious back then. It isn't exactly better now but all thanks to spell-check, I can ensure that what I wrote is proof-read.

Anyway, I can't bear to throw all my memories away. I just ripped off some of the notes that I did way back when I was in Primary School.

I had collected many news articles over the years. Those I can't bear to see them gone. Each and every one is important to me. Why else would I cut them out in the first place? Lots of Harry Potter related articles, posh cars advertisements that caught my eye, etc.

I did throw out those movie reviews I thought was bad taste. Pheesh, what I want are facts and news coverage, not some critical reviews which has absolutely nothing to do with what I like. If they don't like it, fine, I don't have to read what they have to say.

I vacuumed and wiped my tables.

I still didn't managed to spiff up everything. But the remaining potions will have to wait. Holidays are a-ending and I'll extremely not free.

Well, well, I am proud of myself having accomplished what I set out to do.

Besides cleaning, I arranged for a pedicure and haircut session as well. A new start for a new semester.

I tried something new this time. I went for a dark blue colour for my toes. It's pretty bold for me to choose this colour because I usually stick with pinks.

Alas, the polish was not completely dried and I hit my foot against the pedestal in the hair salon. Gone was my nicely painted toes. I really, really hated it...

Luckily, it was my toes instead of my fingernails.

Today was extremely wonderful as I don't have work! This is the crucial event that led to my arrangements.

The end is near.

D for Denial

Denial with the capital letter D.

On the other hand, how can I be in denial when the facts are 'in my face'? I hardly doubt it's called denial at this stage. Sure, I am reluctant to let go and face the future, but I can't change facts, can I?

One last week of utter freedom and being a person with no heavy responsibilities. Time is passing as I typed. It's like after being let out for good behaviour, now, I'm back to the dungeons.

I've so much to do before school starts.

Slipping Through My Fingers

"Slipping through my fingers all the time, I try to capture every minute, the feeling in it"
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"I felt like someone had kicked my legs out from under me ... I was out of time. And I wasn’t ready."

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"Time passes, even for me"

All the days seem to have speed by without me. Looking back, I wonder at what I've been doing all these days.

You know it's time to start school when I starts to reminiscence about the good, ole days that is the holidays. Seriously, I can't seem to get ready for school.

Going back is like preparing for another battle. I can almost smell the need for victory, again. Of course, there is only a way forward and that is the only path to take. No cross-roads here. There is to be only one end. And that is for me to emerge as the victor.

I really, really don't want the time to pass so quickly. Yes, I have been granted almost 2 months of holidays, more so than many others. But, it seems as if I have not done many things constructive, huh.

I am like a jellyfish. Floating around all day and night. I go where pleases me. I can do what I like, when I like. I don't have to care about people judging me and pointing fingers. If I want to sleep the day away, I will because I can.

I literally hold time in my hands.

However, there is a sinister underplot, as I am controlling my time, time is controlling me as well. I'm standing on a ticking time-bomb. Sooner or later, the bomb will burst and I have to go back to reality.

Fantasy is good while it lasts.

I went back to read my previous posts, it seems as if it was still the first day of the holidays. Really. The days did speed past. I was still on the platform but the train has already left the station, with everything on it.

I live in the past, I must admit. I live for the future too. As for the present? I try my hardest to live for the moment.

Typing all these makes me think that there is something whacked about myself. Normally, I aren't this sort of person. Ahhh, who am I kidding? I'm always this sort. I like to overanalyse things, make myself all strung-up over tiny matters, lose sleep over them and start over again the next day.

There are only a few days in the year where this does not strike.

Lots of thoughts jumbled in my mind. I'll try my hardest to write them out.

Oh right. I might as well write this together with this post.

Working in a "tuition" centre, I realised that being the kids of today are quite pitiful actually. Myself included, I guess. But, they still have a long, long way to go.

As I get older, thoughts like these start to plague me. Higher education, career, money-matters, etc.

I wonder if I have the goods to make it in this world. I wonder if I'm good enough to survive in the corporate world. I wonder if I can get a good job and stay with it. I wonder whether I can fulfil my goals and dreams.

I guess we all have a hand in molding the future we want. But, life, there is just so much we can't control. Life is full of surprises and shocks, ups and downs. One day, you are top of the world, the next, you are nothing.

I just have an epiphany. Life is the greatest when you are young.

This is a short teaser, no doubt a grave one, leading to my 19th birthday. It's almost fore-boding...

Obliviate

All of a sudden, I feel unsatisfied with myself and the work I did.

Seriously, my mind is almost a total blank. Thoughts are swirling around but nothing substantial can be put down. All the energy has been use up and there is no way I can charge them.

Sometimes, I wish I could just Obliviate myself.

I can't wait till all the projects are handed up and presentations are done. Then, it will be the last hurrah for me...

Updates

Many things to update.

First of all, school term started yesterday. The only good thing about it was that my friends/year 1 group members are taking cross-cultural psychology too. The 5 of us can meet up once a week for that one hour of lecture.

Today is the second day of school and already I'm lethargic. I'm feeling sleeping now. Luckily, I'm off on Friday.

I'm worried about the transnational studies programme. I really don't know where to meet and the time it will end.

Next, my English is getting rusty, especially the grammar. I pride myself in my English most of the times, well, not exactly pride, but still... I need to brush up my grammar, it irks me when I'm not sure how a certain sentence should be.

I've mastered the song "Who'll stop the rain" in a few days. It's a really nice song with great lyrics.

I'm shedding now, like a snake, oh gods. First my face, then my arm. Ahhh...

Well, I guess this ends here, for now. I can't remember what else that I want to update.

Sentosa outing

Went to Sentosa with Secondary 4 classmates on Friday. In the end, only 3 girls and 6 guys went. A little pathetic, maybe.

My friend and I went there via bus 855, wow, it was a long journey to Harbour Front Interchange.

Boarded the bus en route to Sentosa. I was thinking, there should not be so many people there since school term has already started except for Poly. Still, there were quite a lot of people, playing volleyball.

The sun was especially hot that day. I didn't play volleyball but sat in the shade. I was still sun-burnt quite badly. In actual fact, I put my legs and hands out in the sun to sun-tan for a while. Who knows that I got burnt? The guys had it even worse.

Washed up at about 5-6pm and went to VivoCity to eat dinner. Ate at Carl's Jr for the first time. The burger was huge, although I just bought the normal one. I didn't finished it. The fries are quite nice though.

Walked around and went home afterwards.

My skin remains red and the awful tan-lines is getting on my nerves. Luckily, I don't wear too short shorts and T-shirts. What is bad was, only my right leg and arm are very red. My neck and ear also had it bad.

I was telling my father to go to Sentosa so that I could even it out, by tanning my left leg and arm.

Yes, I don't feel like typing hence the short update, there's no inspiration for me to write. I hope things will be fine again. I'll post up the photos soon.

Tomorrow is the start of school, going to school at around 5pm just to have a stupid lecture.

Righteousness and worn out

School is starting soon. Arrgg!

I can't believe it, time really flies when you are having fun. I'm feeling lethargic lately, and don't feel like blogging. I don't feel like doing anything.

Even posting on the Lex seems to lose its novelty. Why is it so? My aim is to have 1500 posts in my alias when the holidays end. I'm on track so far, 1431 posts. I'm "completely dazzled!", but I love the rank "lusting for blood" more.

I guess by the time my school term starts, I'll have to cut down on Lex time by a lot, since I'm on a completely different time zone. I won't even have people playing with me anymore. Sighs. No more thinking up the weirdest answers to the Wrong answer thread, or making fun of the Cullens in the Post-Its thread. I really have fun on these threads. Sarcasm and dry-wit is what I'm trying to achieve.

I feel like I'm suffering from a burn-out. I've been posting and laughing like crazy on some 'good' days, where I'm posting on 3 different threads at the same time. It's like coming down from an adrenaline rush.

Nothing excites me anymore! I don't care much about who is cast as which character in the upcoming New Moon movie. It's not my place to say anything after all. I don't care how big New Moon is going to be. I try to be thrilled but it's just not working.

I was so worked up for Twilight the movie and now, the consequences is, I don't care about how things are going. OK, I'm kidding myself if I say I don't care at all, but the euphoria is no longer there.

Another thing, I'm getting too affected by matters that happen in the virtual world. Recently, there was the invasion of trolls in the threads of the Lex, more specifically, the Cullenism thread. Some of these people came preaching about how Cullenism, a fictional religion, is not showing respect to some other real-life religions.

I mean, come on, fans create this for FUN. If someone is offended, then don't come on the thread and you won't see it. The best way to get rid of trolls is to ignore them. It's certainly not wise to rise up to the bait.

Some people are really weird up in the head. Why remains so uptight? Most people take it as a joke, but if someone really practice Cullenism, it's his/her choice. You can't go around dictating how others should behave.

And don't go around saying you have the right to speak what you want. Yes, you can do that, but this is a private website that supports twilight saga. Don't come in here saying how twilight stinks or anything. Go create your own website if you want.

Gah! I'm so worked up over this and for what? So righteous...

Finally, I'm trying to become someone else in the virtual world. I'm not having much luck so far. There are times I'm breaking out of the shell, but others, I'm still myself.

The virtual world is where I want to be different. I want to be unafraid of people's opinions. But I can't. It hurts when people commented on what your alias is doing. Not that people are hostile and mean, I'm thinking it's I who is hostile. Or at least, not partaking in the activities. Besides, most of them are "friends" with each other. And I feel kind of "out'.

I'll try my best to rid myself of unnecessary burdens. It's bringing me down. I shall enjoy the time while it lasts.

School News

Today, I had my Chinese Painting course ( it was my CCA). It was from 2.30 to 4.30. ( It was the last lesson).

The whole day was filled with " activities". We had to sit in the hall all day long, listening to talks.

9.20am to 11.10::: Anti-drugs talk

11.15 to 11.40::: recess

11.50 to 1.45::: Childhood Cancer talk & Sec 2 Literature plays

On the literature plays, it is a must for all Sec 2 students. It was part of our Exam marks. My group did not qualify to present our play to the whole school ( minus the Sec 4). Only two groups qualified. Needless to say, they were the "best". But most of us( from my class) said that the teacher was unfair. She chose the groups from her own class. Both groups came from the same class. The plays were from Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet and Macbeth. After seeing the plays, I felt that they were really good.

But I still liked my group's play the best. ( R&J)

:)

School News

Today, we had our" Batik" course. It was the second session. The instructor seemed to be in a bad mood. She kept shouting at us and complain to the teacher-in-charge. The instructor was very mad at some of the boys.

Some examples are: one of the boys threw a chalk at her, when the instructor told a boy to sweep the floor, he refused saying that he came here to learn something and not to do housekeeping, one boy also made signs behind the instructor. ( they are all different guys)

When the teacher-in-charge came back, the instructor told her all these. The teacher was very angry. She held us back and lecture us until 11.30. ( the course was suppose to end at 10.30)

Today, I also got back my exams results. I was quite pleased with them. I qualified for "A" maths and pure sciences. But I am not going to take them for Sec 3. I recieved my class photos: a formal and informal.

Thats all for today!