The Good & Bad of 2011

I can hardly believe that 2011 is ending! Hold your horses though, because I intend to make good use of the last day of 2011.

Year 2011 is a year full of ups and downs, personally, locally and internationally.

For me, I graduated with a Diploma with Merit and an award for the Kingsmen Creatives Prize. That was the glory of my life, my pride and joy. I was at the top of the world. Then, came the task of choosing a University. I fretted over whether I am good enough to enter a local University and thought that I lost my chance. In the end, I chose NUS and am planning to major in Geography.

I wouldn't say that 2011 is good to me because it isn't. The year seems to hover between good and bad, besides, I am not entirely pleased with myself and the way things are heading. Indeed, I would say that the earlier half of the year was so much better than the later half.

If there is one regret I have for 2011, it is that I failed to fulfil my goal and dream of going to USA. All these years, I worked so hard and am going to reward myself with a bang but yet, it failed to materialise. That goal is still standing. I can only hope that I can fulfil it sooner not later.

In Singapore, this is nerve-wracking year. Toes are trod-on and fingers are pointed at. We witnessed the watershed General Election and Presidential Election. I finally realised that Singapore is not what I thought it to be. I thought that people will be more grateful and thankful for we have, alas, that was not the case. People, especially, the younger generation, have grown contemptuous and cynical. They have grown "fat" from all the coddling and protection.

2011 is a year full of disasters that one can almost say it's a disastrous year. Not only are there earthquakes, floods and tsunamis with thousands of lives lost, there is also the financial crisis that sent countries into debt and the stock markets a-tumbling. The powerhouses of the world are not so powerful after all.

The technological world lost a visionary, Steve Jobs, who redefines technology. The world, too, lost dictators such as Gaddafi and Kim Jong Il.

All in all, it's been a roller-coaster ride of a year. However, I will still miss it simply because the year is gone. The new year ahead seems daunting and tough, for the world economy and for myself. Not to mention, the supposedly end-of-the-world will arrive. I will be entering into my second semester of studies and I have to grit my teeth to bear with it.

For all the pessimism I show, I still have hopes that 2012 will be wonderful as it can be. Besides, the year 2012 is made better already with the thoughts of Sherlock season 2 in January and The Hobbit in December starring both Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman in both shows. Oh, it's Christmas!

BBC Sherlock: A Review

This holiday, I am in love. It's not very often I find myself in love with something. Perhaps, rather than calling it love, I should called it 'passion' or a worse word, 'obsession'.

I love Harry Potter (the book series and the movies), Lord of the Rings (the book series and the movies), Twilight (the book series, not so much the movies), and a couple of less epic book series and movies.

Fanfiction has play an important role all these years, I started out with good old Harry Potter fics of course. After which, I branched out. I must count my good fortune that I am exposed to so many wonderful and inspiring fanfiction. It kind of binds the world together, don't you think?  All these great writers, not professionals, but still manage to spellbind so many readers, drawing in reviews, be it good or bad.

My latest "obsession" is Sherlock from BBC One. The British really does amazing films. In this area, I would like to bring out the phrase, "quality not quantity". The mini series consists of only three 90-minutes episodes, but it has already won the BAFTA Awards that very year it came out. The series is critically-acclaimed and at the same time, well-received by the general public. There is always a line between what critics like and what the public like but it looks like Sherlock struck gold.

I know that it was released in England in August 2010 but I got wind of it only in the early months of this year.

Indeed, just after the first episode, I can't help but to get drawn into the 21st century reboot of the beloved series by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock is so witty and sarcastic, filled with British humour. It is ingenious, cleverly executed and a fast-paced, intelligent and fun series. Sherlock is like a breath of fresh air and it actually allows the viewer to think things through. I often find myself rewinding to truly understand the deductions. I enjoyed it tremendously.

What adds fuel to the fire is the fact that the Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are played by two good-looking, British actors namely, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. Supporting cast are up on par as well. I guess this is where the main appeal lies.

Audience do appreciate good-lookers in films, I can firmly attested to that. Of course, that doesn't mean I only watch shows with good-looking guys but it does affect one's decision, doesn't it?

I quickly moved on to the world of BBC!Sherlock fanfiction and found out just how big this fandom truly is. It has only been slightly more than a year old!

With series 2 coming up in the January 2012, the BBC!Sherlock fandom looks set to expand and grow to new heights. While I am excited over the prospect of the new series, I am thrilled by the thought of new fanfics that will be inspired by the new season. I simply cannot wait for the new and existing authors to contribute and share their work with the rest of the fandom.

Let it not be said that viewers these days only appreciate the TV adaptations and fanon writings. I read a wide spectrum of works, ranging from literary writings to novels to amatuers' fanfiction.

I do take the steps to read up on the history of the original author and the book series.I have done it for Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Not only did I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I also dabbled in Tolkien's other works such as The Silmarillion and previously unpublished commentary in The History of Middle Earth. I was 14 going on 15 at that time.

For Harry Potter, other than the the 7 books, I too read literary, analytical works such as Looking for God in Harry Potter and The End of Harry Potter.

As for my new interest in Sherlock Holmes, well, for the first time, I picked up Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work. It's certainly baffling why I didn't have the interest in it when I was younger. The thought of reading this worldwide renowned series never did cross my mind. Perhaps, it's because I was never into the mystery and crime genre.

As I grow older, the time I can devote myself to novels and books lessen. These days, I mostly read fanfiction on the Internet.

Small Miracles

There's so much to update before the year comes to an end. Hopefully, my muse will allow me to write in this last few days.

I'd received my grades for Semester 1 and I must say, thank god for small miracles! For Social Work, I got an A-, the best grade I've received so far. The others are just B-, B and B+. It's alright though, because there's nothing wrong with being average, particularly in these trying times.

I have come to realise that I should lower my expectations in this part of my academic life and it doesn't help that University isn't really my cup of tea. Oh well, like I said, I am fine as long as I do not fall below the B- mark. That is one big no-no for me.

Brain Mush

My brains is becoming mush after the sudden switch in activities. For a couple of weeks, I was preparing exams like crazy, using lots of mind power and then, when the exams ended, it was like the button inside my head was in a switch-off mode.

Of course, I took fully advantage in "wasting" my time because when else will I get the chance?

I realised I have been neglecting my blog this year and I am not exactly satisfied with myself and the way everything is going. Sigh, maybe I am just not in the mood for anything. Maybe, I am jaded about Life in general. Seriously, even Christmas seems "off" this year. I can't really feel any excitement or the spirit I have been looking forward to. Maybe, I am getting old.

Another year is about to come to a close and like every past year, I will lament the ending and am not looking forward to another new year. Why must all the good holidays happen within a couple of months? It makes the rest of the year so drab and dull.

Finals Are Over

My finals are finally over on Monday, 28th November and I'm planning to enjoy my one month holiday fully.

The past two weeks have been, for a lack of better word, tough. I've never feel so incompetent and not confident before. But the exams, like anything, came and went. And I can only hope that I did alright. I mean, the exams did feel alright.

I am kind of apologetic for all the grouses I made during the study week and more. I guessed I must have drove my family bonkers. Oh well, like I told them, they will have to endure for another 2 and a half years.

University is no joke and I am not amused. With the end of semester 1, I can say that I just have the worst time in my entire academic life. It has been awful and miserable.

I have chosen geography as my major. Let's hope that there will be no regrets. To have some interest in it is a good right, non?

As ready as I'll ever be

I'm as ready as I'll ever be = I don't really feel ready, but there is nothing I can do to ever feel more ready.

I've done all that I could and really hope that my hardwork will pay off.

SOS

After 13 years, you would have thought I'd wisen up. But no, humans are weird in this way. We never seem to learn, did we?

Once again, I find myself not having enough time to study and this year, it's even worse than usual. For one, it's University. Need I say more? It's really a killer and I am seriously demoralised by everything. If only I could weep and things will be fine like magic.

3 examinations in 2 days is no laughing matter and with how my brains work, I can't really cope with the influx of info. Action speaks louder than words right? I keep telling myself to work hard but somehow I didn't. I need a wake-up call and what better than one in the form of bad results.

I am not giving up but rather, I am trying to lessen the shame of scoring bad grades. Everyday, I give myself a prep-talk, I have to condition my mind in accepting what will be less-than-stellar grades. I keep telling myself that it's alright for this is the first time. I try to lessen the burden I will otherwise face.

All I am asking for are B- for all subjects. I can't fail. I can't get C or D. I really cannot afford that.

I've never had such hard-core examinations since the O levels. On one hand, I feel sorry for myself. On the other, I know that I am the one who put myself in such a spot.

Once every thousand years

So, today is a very special day because it can only happen once every thousand years. Today's 11th November 2011 or rather 11-11-11.

There's nothing special for me except that it was my last day of school for the first semester. All that's left are final exams and then I can take a well deserved break.

My first semester wasn't what I expected at all. Let's just say it was a big shock and I wasn't entirely happy.

High Stakes

The stakes are stacked high against me. I'm feeling rather blue and depressed these days. I can't help but to have all these unsavory thoughts running through my head. What if I didn't make it? What if I fail? What if I can't find a good job? What if I got left behind by society? Goodness, one will wonder what I am thinking.

Sometimes, I despaired how much reliance I put in place to hold myself together. I don't see the need to hide the fact that my main purpose in going to a Uni is to get that degree to give myself greater opportunities in life. Doors will be easier to open, you know?

I don't want to change the world, I just want to change my life.

By now, I have realised how the minority is marginalised and dare I say, discriminated? This is my first time getting that feeling. Those lecturers seem to forget that not everyone is from JC and have the background knowledge for the subjects. I have never done an essay since forever and what am I going to do for the exams, huh?

I hate it. I think this is part of the reason why my confidence levels fall to an all-time low. I have to be content with being an average student in Uni. Sometimes, life just suck. And when Life gives you lemons, what do I do then?

Failure to Thrive

It's almost the end of my first semester in the University and the one thing that I dread most is looming on the horizon - finals.

I've never face such uncertainty till now. For some reason, I don't think I am doing all that well in Uni. Could it be that my luck has run out or that I have reached my limits in terms of education? Could it be that "inferiority complex" is dragging me down or that I've too high expectations?

I feel like I am struggling to stay afloat all this while. Maybe I am too harsh on myself. Maybe all these negativity is getting me down.

Perhaps my years in Poly had 'spoilt' me, afterall I was considered to be a better-than-average student then. Polytechnic was the pinnacle of my education, it was my most successful and the most rewarding. Maybe after all that high, things will be difficult to match up.

I wasn't kidding when I said that a failure will seriously damaged my morale and confidence. And I did just that - failing my Economics mid-sem test. I never fail since Secondary 4!

The Lion King musical

I'm really glad that I'm able to catch one of the last few shows of The Lion King at Marina Bay Sands. I've always wanted to go, and now that it is leaving Singapore, there is no time to waste.

My uncle helped to book the tickets and with a group rate, the tickets for C reserve were cheaper. We ate dinner at Rasapura and I must say, the IR still impressed me.

It was a sell-out show with lots of kids and parents turning up. There were also school children in their uniforms turning up in classes. A single ticket costs quite a lot and they certainly have the means to do so. Perhaps, their school did sponsor them?

With good sense, we checked out the theatre shop before the show because it will be teaming with people when the show is over. I bought a pin which has the lion king logo on it and the event booklet which costs S$15.

It is a captivating show and the costumes are simply stunning! The songs are sung powerfully and the score with its African origins haunting. The portrayal of the animals are quite realistic. The lion masks were extremely detailed and beautifully hand-crafted.

The Lion King defines theatre and I think many people will be surprised that plays can be as good as films.

This is a showcase of what theatre can be: taking an epic tale and adapting it onto the stage. Theatre has that certain charm and "human touch" that films do not have. Knowing that there is only one chance to make it right and getting a standing ovation, it is not something you can get from a film.

During the 2 and 1/2 hours show, the theatre was transformed into the African plains with leaping antelopes, stately giraffes, and sleek leopard. The stage exploded into a myriad of colours and it is certainly a feast for the eyes. The backdrops are magnificent and lighting and music ties everything together nicely.

I'm happy that my parents got a chance to watch it as well, after much cajoling from us. Seize the day, that's how the saying goes. Who knows when will the broadway show be in Singapore again?

Viva La Liberte

I'm free! Well, not really. But this is as close as it gets.

I'm done with the social work project which I have been ranting about for days. I'm done with the presentation as well which is miles apart from what I used to do in Poly.

I don't do last minute work. Therefore, I cannot stand it when some people came along and change my views. I'm ashamed by my own actions, you know? I've done quite a lot so why is it I'm feeling guilty? Is it because I slept when the others were doing till the wee morning? But, I have done my fair share of work.

It's definitely a culture shock. I promise myself I will never do anything like this again.

I'm left with one last project for economics and then it's time for the examinations. It's going to be another headache and heartache.

Crunch Time

When Life gives you lemons, what will you do? Will you make lemonade? Or will you throw the lemons back?

Once again, it's that time of the school term where things get piled up and you have to do whatever it takes to clear them. It's crunch time.

There's a ball of sunshine waiting for me on the other side, but I have to cross the hurdles first. I have to get over the painful parts before getting the reward. Gosh, the phrase "so near yet so far" has never been more true than this.

Next week is the worst of the lot. On Monday, I've to hand up Social Work reflection paper. On Tuesday, it's History essay. On Friday, I've a term test for South Asian Studies which is drab. The following Monday, there's Social Work group project to be handed up.

Out of the four, the ones I'm most worried about is the group project because we have not FREAKING started! I'm wondering if I associate myself with the wrong group. I thought they are pretty OK people, but last minute work is not my cup of tea.

There is barely a week left, oh god.

Mid-semester Tests

I am woefully behind in updating since the weeks have been hectic.

I did my first ever mid-semester test in the University on 3rd October, and even though I really put in a lot of effort, the difficulty of the paper killed me.

I got stuck doing MCQs and when I realised I spent too much time on that, I quickly jumped to the short-answer questions. I was slowly doing question 1 and when it was announced that there were only 15 minutes left, I panicked and the rest was history.

My mind went blank and I literally feel cold sweat breaking out. I have never ever experience such a thing before. I scribbled what I can and did the few MCQs left without much thinking. I will be lucky if I pass, that is how bad it is.

I didn't have much time to study for history test which took place the next day. However, I feel that I have done quite alright. We'll see when the results are back. There must be at least one test where I have to do well. If not, it's a double-whammy to my self.

In the Thick of Things

The weeks just past in a blur. It's week 6 now and what have I done? The nightmare has began when I saw all the due dates and the amount of projects I have to do. It's time to get into the thick of things.

I'm really not adapting well into University. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a "model" student. I never was and never will be. I hate to use the word, but I procrastinate too much. 'Tomorrow' is such a beautiful word. But, I can't stand last-minute work too.

I miss TP very much as well as my former group members. I miss the group meetings we had and the hours of discussions about business matters. If there is one thing I got out of University, it is that I finally know what I like.

I like the business viewpoint and how different companies use strategies to grow. I like the practicability of the business world. Above all, I miss the business projects in my entrepreneurship classes.

So then, the question is, did I regret taking Arts and Social Sciences? Perhaps regret is too harsh a word, although sometimes, I find myself questioning my choice. Ultimately, it's my choice.

I don't know if choosing Business Administration at SMU will mean that I will be happier because at that time, I feel jaded about continuing with business. I mean, I hate to go through Organisation Behaviour and Marketing all over again.

Ten Years On

A decade since the 9/11 attack in New York, USA. It was an event that changed the world and how terrorism had been such a direct hit to humanity.

A decade and the world isn't an easier place to live in.

So much had happen and yet nothing seem to have change. The world is facing an uphill task to combat terrorism and extremists. There is nothing more critical than the situation the world is facing now, what with the financial crisis and battle against terror groups.

I remembered I was in Primary 4 when the news first broke out. Like so many others, I watched in utmost shock at the captured scenes where the hijacked planes crashed into the twin towers and the subsequent collapses. It seemed like a bad dream then.

10 years on, I am Year 1 in University. The heartbreak of those who lost their love ones are still keen in their hearts and minds.

We should all take this special day to commemorate and remember those who lost their lives and sacrificed. It was a day of memorial.

Letting Go

Darn it. I've got to learn how to let go. I have to realise I can't get everything I want and that not everything has to go my way.

Why then is it so hard for me to do that? Hey, if there are people better than me, I've no problem letting them take charge. The problem arises when I know that I'm right and I have better ideas. My stakes are high and that's why I must make sure things are on the right track. It's hard to take a step back and look at the issue without a critical eye.

For some reason, some of the slogans that a group member suggests get on me. Having study tourism before and did projects on it, I have to say I have greater experience and knowledge on the topic. Afterall, my former group was steered to great results.

We'll see about this issue tomorrow. Hopefully, the group can choose something great and broad based. I hate to be the "bad guy".

Perhaps, there are times when I'll have to condescend. Sighs, this is not the way I want to do things but group work is all about give and take.

I miss my Poly project group more than ever when I see the depressing way I go about tackling projects at University. I don't know the different people well enough to have the right dynamics.

Week 5

So, it's week 5 since the start of University. Time sure pass by, but I still feel like it's only the beginning.

I feel like a zombie sometimes, just going through the paces. I don't know what is wrong but I don't feel like I am adapting as well as I should.

I miss the days where group project members are your friends as well and there are plenty of chances to have lunch and trade ideas together. Here, in University, group project members are merely acquaintances, whereby you meet a couple of times to get whatever projects done up. It's all for mutual benefit.

Tutorials are kind of drab. In Poly, one see the tutor once a week and the tutor are friendly as in you can always consult them. In University, there are classes where you see the tutor once a fortnight and it's very touch-and-go. It gives the feeling that you just can't wait for it to end.

Maybe I am jaded about school but I'll give in my best to make this work.

Best Man Wins

It was not until the wee hours of Sunday's morning that the results of the Presidential Elections were out and it was because there was a recount of votes. Indeed, it was a close-fight between Dr Tony Tan and Dr Tan Cheng Bock. Ultimately, Dr Tony Tan is Singapore's new President.

It was a close call but thank goodness for small wonders. Sensibility won by a small percentage.

After all the fuss, I'm glad that we'll have relative peace for the next 6 years. I have enough of the personal attacks and undermining of the ruling party efforts.

This is the upward trend that is going to afflict Singapore for years to come: more and more people voting for the opposition and those affiliated with them. There is no stopping this wave. There is and will be increasing fragmentation in the society where the line is draw between 2 camps; supporters of the ruling party and those who are not.

I can't help but feel that as Singapore and the world progresses, humanity is lost. The world according to some people consists of themselves and their houses. They can only see how can this and that benefit me, how can my self-interest be met.

What I want my President To Be

I want the President of Singapore to be a person with experience, dignity and ability to represent Singapore on the world stage. He must be a person who can hold his own in front of foreign dignitaries and head-of-states. He have to be Singapore's top diplomat.

I can hardly care for the "incentives" the candidates promise to bring to the people because how true that will be, no one knows. Let's be honest, where will he get the money to provide additional incentives to NS men and the lot? Out of his own pocket? Besides, how long do you think he can carry out this? One year, or maybe two?

These ideas are short-sighted and the people who vote because they can only see the benefits and care for their self-interests are completely irrational. Is that the kind of president they want? One who promises them "goodies" and an "alternate voice"?

It's disappointing that despite continuous emphasis on the role and duties of the president, there are people who just cannot look past their prejudices and tinted glasses. Their dislike for the ruling party spilled over to that of presidential elections.

On another note, is the ruling party of Singapore that bad? With the way things are going, you'd think that the party has done a great deal of injustice to Singaporeans.

If these people are really that disappointed with the system here, they ought to be shipped to Libya, where they can experience "true political injustice" and political unrest.

Furthermore, they are an ungrateful lot, I must say. Reaping in the benefits and yet pointing fingers when things are not up to their liking. The ruling party is not perfect, but they have done Singapore proud. They have provide accountability to the citizens all these years.

That being said, I am not confusing the role of the president with that of the Parliament or the ruling party. I am merely making things clear.