Prelims--brief

On Monday, were my English Papers. The compo I did was alright, the other titles were difficult. The compo was " What do you like about being a student? What changes can be made to the school to make it more enjoyable?" I had many things to write about, haha. I found the compre ok, but that did not mean I will do well, of course.
On Tuesday were my Social Studies and A maths paper 1. The night before I was suffering from insomnia, I couldn't go to sleep... The social studies paper was good.. I had to protect my hand using plaster as I always gripped the pen too hard and my hand will become red and sore. I remembered my essays well enough.
The A maths, as usual, was a disaster. The 1st few questions were doable, but the subsequent questions were...
I was hiccupping away all night and morning. My father said it was because I was anxious, I don't know... Today, the A maths paper 2 was a complete disaster too. It was harder than paper 1. I'm not asking much, just let me get 30+ out of 80, and I will be more happy. To pass seems like an impossible thing to do.
Tomorrow are Chemistry and Chinese paper 1. I hate chemistry, so much to memorise...
Till next time

Pre-prelims 2007

1 day before my prelims exams. Tomorrow papers are English paper 1 and 2. I'm worried for my compo. I'm not a good speller. I'm worried that I will make unnecessary grammar errors... My grammar is not that good. How I wish we can bring dictionary to the exam hall.
I've no inspiration to write anything! I can't write narrative or stories. On most occasions, I will choose exposition essays as they only require stating. What should I do? I'm really afraid and uncertain. When I write essays, I need to think out the plot and all that. That alone requires a few hours...which will be impossible during exams.
That's why I can do quite well for compo practices and not during exams.
On Tuesday, social studies and A maths paper 1. I'm only going to memorise the essays on the themes Looking Ahead and Venice. I will memorise them again and again until I dream about them in my sleep... Nothing much to say about A maths. I sort of given up on it, but I can't get over my own barrier...
Bless me...

O lvl English Oral

Ahhh...I sort of messed up my exam yesterday. What should I do? I jerked at some parts of the reading passage. The picture discussion was ok, I supposed. It showed some boys touching a tree and looking at a piece of paper. There was nothing much to talk about.
The last component: conversation. The 1st question was something like " Do you enjoy going on school trips?" I used the phase, far and between, is there such a phase?
2nd question "Do you think school trip is better than learning in a classroom?" I agreed then went on talking about hand-ons and 1st hand experience.
3rd question, "Do you think conservation is important?" This was the worst!!! I actually said conversation instead of conservation!! That was so embarrassing!! I stumbled on the word twice and the examiners had to correct me!! I was tongue-tied and could not grasp the pronunciation properly. This was the worst thing that happened to me. Oh God!! I was so flustered then.
I only manage to give two points and when I paused, they told me I could go. I really hoped I don't get a merit... Please don't let me get a pass or merit...Please please please...
Prelims starts on Monday~!!!

Pressure

I really can't stand it, the intense pressure is killing me.
Doing all these past years A maths exam papers and O level papers is killing me. I really feel like crying... Everyday during maths lesson, it is doing A maths, A maths, and more A maths. This is due to the A maths prelims next week.
I hate you, A maths! I don't even care if I fail in the O levels. I'll be more than overjoyed to get a pass, but now my standard have dropped. Just give me an E8 or D7 and I'll be happy. I have long given up on any hope...
On another note, I'll be retaking my Chinese. There is nothing much to say about it...
All these unhappiness aside, our graduation night or prom will take place at Holiday Inn Park View on a Thursday. I need to start looking for clothes now, haha. The girls were discussing about it last week.
Don't know when I will update again...
Till next time
Let me be at peace~

O lvl Chinese results: aftermath

Great, I should never had been confident in the 1st place. Does it help? Absolutely not!
I fell into that 10% category...where I'm confident yet still don't do well... Of course, B3 was not really that bad, but when you expected something more, it really stung. It was a sharp blow to my tiny piece of confidence...
So what you are positive or optimistic? Blah, blah, blah...
Most people in my class got a B3, but lets not talk about that. I don't even want to let my parents know how my class did. They are not sympathetic at all...Then again, I'd rather them not say anything than to make a fuss of it. I can't stand people pouring oil to the fire...They don't know what I feel, so don't try to make things "better".
My teacher reckon I should try again, go for the retake. I'm going against my beliefs now, I always thought that whatever I score, I will never retake. But since things had taken for the worst, I'll consider doing it. She said I don't have to go for lessons, just go in and take the prelims and O levels when the time comes. I think this is a pretty good idea, afterall, I have nothing to lose. Even if I did badly for the retake, my certificate will show my B3. However, I'm reluctant to do compo and compre again. After weeks of not touching Chinese, I think I'm rusty in my usage...
Anyway, things are not so bad...I'm just a little tad disappointed and sore about my grade. But hey, I had a distinction for my oral and listening compre. That's why my teacher call me to retake, I've a good chance of scoring an A.
~I've faith in you, but you didn't come to my aid when I need you the most~

2 days before O lvls Chinese results

Will be getting O levels Chinese results on Monday. I'm both excited and nervous about it. This is one of the rare chances that I am confident about my exam. I'm always the pessimist. Part of it is to protect myself from failure, when you think negatively, the sense of failure is not that strong.
If you are too confident about something, should you fail, the impact will be too much to handle. This is how I feel. But, when I'm confident in something, 90% of the chances is that I will get it. I'm worried, I have the confidence to get an A for my Chinese, but what if I didn't? I don't know what I will do...
I'm not going to retake regardless of the results, that will be wasting time. Should I get an A for Chinese, that will leave 4 more subjects to get my L1R4. I am aiming for Poly. The range I aim to get is 9 to 14. If I get within the range, I swear I will thank God and reward myself properly.
Prayers every night...
11 weeks till O levels...

Celebrating national day

Today we celebrated national day. It's the eve of Singapore's birthday. Yay!
Though our school did not allow us to wear red and white, which was a downside, I enjoyed the whole event very much. Partly because this was my last year celebrating in Secondary School. I'll miss those happy days...The whole sec 4 cohort was so 'high', haha. Some classes did the wave and there were even some people who brought the Singapore flag! It was so much fun. We stood up and sang the national day songs, which was embarrassing. There were cheers when the principal and disciplinary mistress sang. There were also dance and choir performances.
After that, we watched some games played between teachers and students. There were netball, volleyball and Frisbee. The teachers seemed to be on the winning side. Us, the girls, cheered for our teachers and classmates.
We then went back to class and after taking our gifts, we were dismissed.
I hoped all students out there had a good time celebrating national day.
Happy 42nd Birthday, Singapore!