"In an attempt to surpass ... I seem to have lost humanity."
*Snort* How dramatic.
But in truth, I seem to get so fixated on doing well and above average that I somewhat lost my direction. No, it's not losing what I want, it's just that I don't enjoy life anymore.
Everything revolves around doing very well, not perfect, but close to it.
What happened to that person I was when Bs are enough? I guess that Life and circumstances got in the way. At this point, there is no other way but to continue my conquest. Perhaps, when everything end, for good, I can finally let it go.
Trust me, if I can do whatever it takes to make sure I get As for my subjects, I will. I was thinking to myself today, if I can afford to break down and cry and things will mend by themselves, I will. That's easy, I feel like crying all this time.
I'm miserable for the better part of my school life, the only moments of happiness come when I have the end to show it. The means to an end is tough.
This idiom just screams "ME". To me, all these are means to an end.
Just like how work is. I don't enjoy it but I have to do it, for the cash. Same goes for striving to be a high-achiever. You have to do all sorts of "disgusting" things to get to where you are.
Because I firmly believe that the end will justify the means. No matter how I feel now, nothing can compare to the pride I feel when I got my just rewards.
Sometimes, I feel as if I'm on a different wavelength from others, people say how they miss school and all sorts, but I don't now. They have fun and have a "heck-care" attitude. I guess I just can't afford that.
So, cheers to being a worry-wart and the minority who don't enjoy Poly life. Life will be good.
