I know I've been blessed in many subtle ways, but how can it be, when I only see gloomy days ahead?
I pray for respite and rain. I want to see a rainbow. I want to be alive again.
I never said I was happy, at least not in the last few weeks. I never want to be part of this insanity. I sure isn't living, as per say, but rather, just managing and surviving. It's truly a pain, I tried to be open-minded and positive, but it soon turn to dust. All those hopes and wishes, they have disintegrate.
I'm begrudgingly doing what I am told, I would never do this willingly. I drag my feet to work everyday.
Thankfully, as I kept telling myself, this is temporary. All I have to do is to endure for 6 more weeks and then I can wiped them out from my life. They will ease to exist.
I can't believe how disgusting they are. Stop it! Stop trying to be helpful or whatever backstabbing thing you are doing! Stop trying to suck away my weekends! I have given up my mind and body, but I will damned if I offer my soul on a silver platter.
It is said that if you have enough of a job and finding yourself dragging your feet to work, it's time to change that job. At least, this applies when you are young or have no obligations to make. When you can afford to be choosy, please do. It's that time when you ahve no mouths to feed, or to be the breadwinner.
I wonder if I would be that type of person later on. I wish I would. I am supposed to be young, free to experience different kind of jobs and settings. If I really hate that job, I what to shove it away and hop on to another one.
I guess I still have part of my humanity left, since I am defying them in little acts. Don't judge, because it means that I can be happy. It pains me to see myself becoming a living zombie. I hate the fact that I feel like a convict each day it is time to go home.
