Saturday, April 02, 2011

Angsty April

Oh dear, oh dear, the joint acceptance portal is opened and now the race begins. Or should I say, doom's day has arrived.

I used to think that my GPA of 3.75 is not too bad but now, I realised that people having been getting 3.9 and 3.8! Of course, it is made more substantial when people are discussing it online. I have spent too much time spelling out my fears, how am I to stop?

I am not that confident anymore. These few days will be crucial to me. I need to gain acceptance to NUS first. Please. This will be the hardest to get into. Screwing up the checklist for NUS only add on to my fears of rejection.

I should be enjoying my holidays but how am I to enjoy when there are battles to be won? Huh? When I have one acceptance in my stash, only can I rest easier. I wish I could do more to ensure that I will be accepted. I already did my best and there is no use thinking about have-beens and what-ifs.

When I saw that people had been getting one pointers for their O levels, my heart sank a little. When I saw that those who got acceptance came from Singapore Polytechnic and Ngee Ann Polytechnic, my heart sank even more. Did I make the wrong choice? Was I mistaken from the start?

I did not regret the choice I make, well, at least it is not something of importance. I did like TP. I was given many chances to prove myself and I am grateful for the opportunities.

There is nothing left to write. I bare my heart out in these posts. No one can elevate my fears. Should all else fail, I can only curse my bad luck and try again next year. Right?! No!