In the Thick of Things

The weeks just past in a blur. It's week 6 now and what have I done? The nightmare has began when I saw all the due dates and the amount of projects I have to do. It's time to get into the thick of things.

I'm really not adapting well into University. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a "model" student. I never was and never will be. I hate to use the word, but I procrastinate too much. 'Tomorrow' is such a beautiful word. But, I can't stand last-minute work too.

I miss TP very much as well as my former group members. I miss the group meetings we had and the hours of discussions about business matters. If there is one thing I got out of University, it is that I finally know what I like.

I like the business viewpoint and how different companies use strategies to grow. I like the practicability of the business world. Above all, I miss the business projects in my entrepreneurship classes.

So then, the question is, did I regret taking Arts and Social Sciences? Perhaps regret is too harsh a word, although sometimes, I find myself questioning my choice. Ultimately, it's my choice.

I don't know if choosing Business Administration at SMU will mean that I will be happier because at that time, I feel jaded about continuing with business. I mean, I hate to go through Organisation Behaviour and Marketing all over again.

Graduation Ceremony 2011

Yesterday's graduation ceremony was a whirlwind affair and I can only hope my pictures will turn out alright.

I was the last few to go up the stage as I was one of the prize winners and recipient of diploma with merit. Firstly, my heels were killing me. Secondly, my heart was thumping loudly as I was waiting for my turn at the side of the stage.

I handed over my card, and walked down the aisle as the emcee finished announcing my name and achievements. The director of business school congratulated me as I shook his hand and we posed for the camera man. Then it's over, and I was taking this big turn to go back up to the seats.

I'm glad that I managed to take some photos with my friends since it was so chaotic after the whole event. The place is too small to accommodate so many people. It's also the first time the buffet spread was wiped clean. I guess the guests and students must be hungry, as our ceremony was the evening session. I collected my new alumni card after trading in my matric card during registration.

It's too bad I did not manage to take photos with the lecturers. I didn't even see them.

I returned my gown, had a plaque done, bought a graduation bear - courtesy of my mother, and paid for the official photos.

How many times can you graduate from Polytechnic? How many chances are there to win a prize?

Indeed, this milestone in my life is something I will treasure always simply because of the experiences and memories cannot be gained through other means.

I daresay, I have no regrets choosing the diploma route, choosing Temasek Polytechnic, choosing the Business course. It was the right choice I made almost 3 years ago. There may be times I lament that secondary school is the best education period, but there are unforgettable moments in polytechnic too.

Graduated

Today, marks the end of a journey. Today, I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic.

It has certainly been a bittersweet journey for me. I have really work hard these 3 years and I finally savour the fruit of my labour. I achieved what I set out to do and more. To be honest, getting the Kingsmen Creatives Prize is a big surprise for me.

Regardless of all I have said and rant, there is a part in my heart that love what I have been through. It was a roller coaster ride, particularly in emotions. Every project is meticulously checked and done to make sure our standards surpassed others.

When all is said and done, I miss the almost carefree life I have in the last 3 years. I miss bouncing off ideas with my group members. I even miss the mad rush for projects to be done.

Thank you, to my group members, especially those in the later part of semesters, for all the hard work and great ideas. We couldn't have done it without each other.

Days Leading up to May

April is coming to an end. Wow, I know I have said it many times but time sure does fly when you are on holiday.  

Today, a new semester starts in Temasek Polytechnic but of course, it is over for me. Do I miss school? I guess. A little.

May is a month fill with importanr dates. Labour Day is on 1st of May, a Sunday, which means the next day will be holiday in-lieu. Polling Day is on 7th May, a public holiday. Mothers' Day is on 8th May after which comes my birthday on 10th May. Gasp* I am hitting 2-0. I am not ready to be a "real" adult.

Vesak Day falls on the following Tuesday, 17th May and Graduation is on 24th May, another Tuesday.

So you can see, May is not a good month for work, but it's a good month to relax. As with so many holidays, there will be a need to do catch-up.

Angsty April

Oh dear, oh dear, the joint acceptance portal is opened and now the race begins. Or should I say, doom's day has arrived.

I used to think that my GPA of 3.75 is not too bad but now, I realised that people having been getting 3.9 and 3.8! Of course, it is made more substantial when people are discussing it online. I have spent too much time spelling out my fears, how am I to stop?

I am not that confident anymore. These few days will be crucial to me. I need to gain acceptance to NUS first. Please. This will be the hardest to get into. Screwing up the checklist for NUS only add on to my fears of rejection.

I should be enjoying my holidays but how am I to enjoy when there are battles to be won? Huh? When I have one acceptance in my stash, only can I rest easier. I wish I could do more to ensure that I will be accepted. I already did my best and there is no use thinking about have-beens and what-ifs.

When I saw that people had been getting one pointers for their O levels, my heart sank a little. When I saw that those who got acceptance came from Singapore Polytechnic and Ngee Ann Polytechnic, my heart sank even more. Did I make the wrong choice? Was I mistaken from the start?

I did not regret the choice I make, well, at least it is not something of importance. I did like TP. I was given many chances to prove myself and I am grateful for the opportunities.

There is nothing left to write. I bare my heart out in these posts. No one can elevate my fears. Should all else fail, I can only curse my bad luck and try again next year. Right?! No!

Attempts

"In an attempt to surpass ... I seem to have lost humanity."

*Snort* How dramatic.

But in truth, I seem to get so fixated on doing well and above average that I somewhat lost my direction. No, it's not losing what I want, it's just that I don't enjoy life anymore.

Everything revolves around doing very well, not perfect, but close to it.

What happened to that person I was when Bs are enough? I guess that Life and circumstances got in the way. At this point, there is no other way but to continue my conquest. Perhaps, when everything end, for good, I can finally let it go.

Trust me, if I can do whatever it takes to make sure I get As for my subjects, I will. I was thinking to myself today, if I can afford to break down and cry and things will mend by themselves, I will. That's easy, I feel like crying all this time.

I'm miserable for the better part of my school life, the only moments of happiness come when I have the end to show it. The means to an end is tough.

This idiom just screams "ME". To me, all these are means to an end.

Just like how work is. I don't enjoy it but I have to do it, for the cash. Same goes for striving to be a high-achiever. You have to do all sorts of "disgusting" things to get to where you are.

Because I firmly believe that the end will justify the means. No matter how I feel now, nothing can compare to the pride I feel when I got my just rewards.

Sometimes, I feel as if I'm on a different wavelength from others, people say how they miss school and all sorts, but I don't now. They have fun and have a "heck-care" attitude. I guess I just can't afford that.

So, cheers to being a worry-wart and the minority who don't enjoy Poly life. Life will be good.

Memories

In my other life, I seem to have remembered these familiar faces. The faces of teachers who had taught me and whom I esteemed.

However, with the pass of time, my memories of them become fuzzy. I cling tightly to these memories because they are of the best in my schooling life. The upper secondary period is something I treasured most, now that O levels was a thing behind.

It's not that I don't like my school life now. It's just it is not up there on my list. There are some aspects which I like. I guess that when graduation comes, I will only look back with fond memories.

On another note, holidays, even short ones, are enough to make you forget about your other life. Other life being the life in school with dreadful projects.

Oh gods, I heard that people received their Direct Honours List already! I sincerely hope that on of these days, when the letterbox is opened, lo behold, the invitation will be waiting for me. Please, please, please...

Updates

To update on the more mundane aspect of my life.

Received my marketing and MacroEcons marks. I got a 33/50 for Marketing and 96.5/100 for MacroEcons.

Marketing marks was expected. What can I expect when I just studied on the day itself? Moreover, Marketing is not my cup of tea.

MacroEcons came as a surprise. I really did not foresee that. I was still thinking I got this question and that question wronged. Wow, if I can keep this up for end-semester exam, it'll be great.

Chinese New Year is coming. But before that, there are many obstacles to pass. Projects to hand in, tests to be completed, etc.

Today and 9th and 10th is TP's open house. One year had past since I went for the open house in 2008.

Anyway, my friends and I were joking about pretending to be Secondary school students. We went to visit the other schools' diploma courses. We got mistaken for Secondary school students for a few times. There were so many people about.

Today is a great day. Taylor Lautner is staying on! Looking forward to seeing him protraying Jacob in New Moon. It will be just fine.

Christ Weitz, thank you for letting Lautner stay. You make the obvious choice. Thank you to Stephenie Meyer too. For thinking Lautner will be a perfect Jacob.

Cheers.