I didn't take the time to grief over my job loss. I didn't expect my grief to be so great. I thought I will be stronger and stoic but apparently not. To be honest, I had wanted to leave this past couple of years but I stayed on.
I know I rushed the process of finding and landing another job. I blamed myself for being desperate because I could not bear the thought of being unemployed and not able to have paychecks. But, the moment I committed myself to the new job, I faltered and found myself regretting my hasty decision.
From knowing I will be made redundant to going to my first interview is only 2 weeks. From my last day of work to the first day of the new job is only a couple of days. I was too naive to believe that work will keep me from overthinking.
This time, I will make sure I keep my emotions in check and treat work as just work. This is not what I want to be doing anyway. I don't know what I want, but I know it is not this.
