There is no going back

I miss those good old days even though I know there is no going back. 

I used to work weekday nights and Saturday mornings and I would give up anything to go back again. I miss my Mondays and Wednesday half-days. I miss going out shopping in those afternoons. I miss those "5th weeks". 

I don't know if I can deal with being in this role for this year. I guess it is not too late to quit but I have to be pragmatic. I have insurance and investment that need paying. I need my CPF. I need to grow my savings. Worst of all, I don't even know what I want to do. 

But now, I guess I have a clearer idea. I want to focus more on tutoring individual students. I think I can do well in that area. Hopefully, I will end my job soon and look for assignments on the side... 

I missed studying. At least there is a clear start and end to it. At least I have school holidays to look forward to. At least we can talk about things other than work. I don't even mind the exams and projects. 

This sucks

Today is my first day of work at my new job. 

I dreaded this day for the whole of February. It wasn't a job I wanted. I only took it because I was blinded by desperation. 

I will quit without hesitation if I win big money. It's just too bad we are not rich. 

I have my resignation letter all typed out. When I had enough, I will turn it in. 

I had enough of all this shit. I don't want to commit myself to a job I can't see myself doing. I feel sorry for the folks there but it is what it is.