Slipping Through My Fingers

"Slipping through my fingers all the time, I try to capture every minute, the feeling in it"
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"I felt like someone had kicked my legs out from under me ... I was out of time. And I wasn’t ready."

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"Time passes, even for me"

All the days seem to have speed by without me. Looking back, I wonder at what I've been doing all these days.

You know it's time to start school when I starts to reminiscence about the good, ole days that is the holidays. Seriously, I can't seem to get ready for school.

Going back is like preparing for another battle. I can almost smell the need for victory, again. Of course, there is only a way forward and that is the only path to take. No cross-roads here. There is to be only one end. And that is for me to emerge as the victor.

I really, really don't want the time to pass so quickly. Yes, I have been granted almost 2 months of holidays, more so than many others. But, it seems as if I have not done many things constructive, huh.

I am like a jellyfish. Floating around all day and night. I go where pleases me. I can do what I like, when I like. I don't have to care about people judging me and pointing fingers. If I want to sleep the day away, I will because I can.

I literally hold time in my hands.

However, there is a sinister underplot, as I am controlling my time, time is controlling me as well. I'm standing on a ticking time-bomb. Sooner or later, the bomb will burst and I have to go back to reality.

Fantasy is good while it lasts.

I went back to read my previous posts, it seems as if it was still the first day of the holidays. Really. The days did speed past. I was still on the platform but the train has already left the station, with everything on it.

I live in the past, I must admit. I live for the future too. As for the present? I try my hardest to live for the moment.

Typing all these makes me think that there is something whacked about myself. Normally, I aren't this sort of person. Ahhh, who am I kidding? I'm always this sort. I like to overanalyse things, make myself all strung-up over tiny matters, lose sleep over them and start over again the next day.

There are only a few days in the year where this does not strike.

Lots of thoughts jumbled in my mind. I'll try my hardest to write them out.

Oh right. I might as well write this together with this post.

Working in a "tuition" centre, I realised that being the kids of today are quite pitiful actually. Myself included, I guess. But, they still have a long, long way to go.

As I get older, thoughts like these start to plague me. Higher education, career, money-matters, etc.

I wonder if I have the goods to make it in this world. I wonder if I'm good enough to survive in the corporate world. I wonder if I can get a good job and stay with it. I wonder whether I can fulfil my goals and dreams.

I guess we all have a hand in molding the future we want. But, life, there is just so much we can't control. Life is full of surprises and shocks, ups and downs. One day, you are top of the world, the next, you are nothing.

I just have an epiphany. Life is the greatest when you are young.

This is a short teaser, no doubt a grave one, leading to my 19th birthday. It's almost fore-boding...