Disappointment. Cut by a knife.
What do these words have in common? In this semester, I have received a horrifying D and C+. Never in my 6 semesters have I received such a bad grade before, perhaps only once in Year 1.1 for some minor individual project.
Semester 3.2 is easily the WORST semester ever in my entire life in TP.
Good gods! The tides have turned. The tables are turned. The stakes are stacked sky-high, tethering over me like a tower of cards. Those cards which I thought I carefully built up.
Why?! What a crap of a semester! I feel like cursing at the unfairness of it all! What are the odds that we get less-than-stellar lecturers, disgusting subjects (I'm looking at you, International Business and Managerial Accounting 2), difficult and vague projects (once again, International Business), unnecessary tests and examinations that ruin my life all in one semester?
It's like a present, only one that is meant to hurt.
Seriously, I am depressed and worried over my cumulative GPA. Before the disasters, I had gleefully thought that I should be able to get a place in NUS. That is my goal, to get into one of the 3 local Universities with a diploma. This means a lot to me, to the meaning in life.
NUS is the top choice. NTU next and SMU last.
Do you realise how dash and miserable I'll be when I received the text in March with my crappy results? I'll probably bawl my eyes out.
I'm not always this competitive. Even now, I don't think I am that actively seeking competition. Sure, I would want to know who are the main competitors and the worthy ones, at least in my class.
For me, it's like being middle-class. You are not worse off than some (those who fail, get Cs and Ds) but you are not better off too. I guess I can never be on par to those high achievers and high flyers. I reckon I am content being middle-class, because there are many layers to it. As long as I am above average, that will make me happy.
It's not like I want to compare, I mean, you can't be in your world right? I wish I had it easy, once upon a time, Bs are all that I want, but it's not possible now. Not when I had a piece of recognition and I want more. I need more.
As are what I what.
You have no idea how low my spirits got when I saw the grade on the law project. It's so horrible that if I got it back, I'll burn it. A freaking C+! I can't believe my eyes when I saw it. The D I received for Managerial Accounting 2 paper was alright because it was truly difficult. But this, did I expect it? Never!
I hate the lecturer from then on. It's not like she is a good tutor to begin with. It's the last lesson anyway, the chances of seeing her again is close to nil.
I'm practical. I am good to those who are good to me. And I bear a grudge to those who don't. It's life. I often think back of the old times, even in primary school, when I had the good fortune to meet good teachers who really make a difference. Alas, the black sheep among the teaching body grew with each level of education.
Look at the example in my school. Yes, they may have the experience, skills and qualifications needed in the working world do not mean that they can teach. Some of them just drone on and on and on (the finger is pointing at you, Managerial Accounting 2).
