It's funny, isn't it?
2 years on, it's nearing the end of 2018, and I'm still me. Still the same old me. The one prone to melancholy, to tears, to negativity. Did I find get an interview? No. Did I get an office job? No. I'm still ever afraid of sending my resume and getting called up for an interview. I'm still afraid of making an embarrassment out of myself. While others have moved on; getting a normal job, getting attached, getting married, having children, I'm still stuck in a rut.
My job isn't high-paying. Heck, it's below-average pay but I can't really complain. Sometimes I wonder how will I survive this horrible world. Sometimes I wonder when I will get a boyfriend, get married and lead a normal life. I'm scared. I'm scared of growing old, of being helpless, of being without enough savings, of being a burden...
I'm the classic introvert who is also shy and has anxiety. I wonder how I will survive when my parents become older. Sometimes, I think that being died is the better solution for me but that's going into dangerous territory. I swear I am not suicidal. If only because suicide is always painful and I have a phobia of pain. Maybe when it's time to go, there will be the option of euthanasia. Maybe, god will be merciful and take me in my sleep.
