This is probably my last post before I leave Singapore tomorrow afternoon.
Despite all my pessimism, misgivings and doubts, as long as I remember I chose this path because I am exchanging 6 weeks of summer holidays for 2 semesters of easier time, I should be fine. As the saying goes, "as you made your bed, so you must lie on it". Nobody forces me into making this decision and I vow to be brave about it. On the other hand, "bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity".
Seriously though, why am I crying as I write this entry? I am prone to histrionics and am melancholic in nature.
That's why I hate goodbyes, more so, long goodbyes. But now, it's time to say goodbye to Singapore, to my family, to my home, to my room, to my bed and all the things I've taken for granted. This will be the first and last time so I shall try to cherish it. I won't fail, will I?
Catch you on the flip side.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Count the seconds till I'm home (with you)
2 more days till I leave Singapore!
It's still pretty surreal to me even though I am in the midst of packing.
When I wake up during the night, I thought to myself, it will be 6 weeks later before I get to sleep in my beautiful bed, under my new duvet with the air-conditioner on, surrounded by my Angry Birds toys. Will I even be comfortable going to the toilet in the middle of the night, especially during the home-stays? Will I feel safe?
I have to bid goodbye to all the comforts I have taken for granted, both provided by the country and home. I can't walk around in shorts and T-shirt and go to the nearest shopping mall to buy things. I can't even eat my favourite/comfort food. The gist of it is I can't be myself. I'll have to put up an act and 'entertain' people all day long, even at night. I, who value my freedom of expression, having to curb myself and rely on others' whims and moods.
To be more efficient in managing and passing the time, I have devise a method through psychological means. Time is divided into pre-, post- and everything else just falls under "during". I tend to concentrate on pre- and post- event, because the act itself is often short and quick (like ripping off a plaster). Isn't it true for examinations, projects deadlines and what not? I've planned what I intend to do when I return on the 27th of July, down to the first meal I'll be having upon arrival (McDonalds, in case you are wondering).
I've divided the entire field studies into first and last 3 weeks. I reckon the first 3 weeks will be the worst. Once July is here, it will truly be a countdown till departure.
If all else fails, countdown clocks are the best psychological weapons. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching the days gone by. Each day that is done will bring me one day closer to Singapore again.
When studying becomes a chore and the modules pose no interest to you, you know it's time to close that chapter. Thus, one more year.
It's still pretty surreal to me even though I am in the midst of packing.
When I wake up during the night, I thought to myself, it will be 6 weeks later before I get to sleep in my beautiful bed, under my new duvet with the air-conditioner on, surrounded by my Angry Birds toys. Will I even be comfortable going to the toilet in the middle of the night, especially during the home-stays? Will I feel safe?
I have to bid goodbye to all the comforts I have taken for granted, both provided by the country and home. I can't walk around in shorts and T-shirt and go to the nearest shopping mall to buy things. I can't even eat my favourite/comfort food. The gist of it is I can't be myself. I'll have to put up an act and 'entertain' people all day long, even at night. I, who value my freedom of expression, having to curb myself and rely on others' whims and moods.
To be more efficient in managing and passing the time, I have devise a method through psychological means. Time is divided into pre-, post- and everything else just falls under "during". I tend to concentrate on pre- and post- event, because the act itself is often short and quick (like ripping off a plaster). Isn't it true for examinations, projects deadlines and what not? I've planned what I intend to do when I return on the 27th of July, down to the first meal I'll be having upon arrival (McDonalds, in case you are wondering).
I've divided the entire field studies into first and last 3 weeks. I reckon the first 3 weeks will be the worst. Once July is here, it will truly be a countdown till departure.
If all else fails, countdown clocks are the best psychological weapons. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching the days gone by. Each day that is done will bring me one day closer to Singapore again.
When studying becomes a chore and the modules pose no interest to you, you know it's time to close that chapter. Thus, one more year.
Monday, June 03, 2013
Countdown
Woah, why is June moving so fast?! It's already the 3rd!
In just 12 days I will be leaving Singapore and that thought is both depressing and poignant. Essentially, I will losing 1 month this year; July. July will be practically non-existence for me. Oh, I will be deeply aware of each passing day. The question is will I be able to enjoy each day or will it just be a countdown? A strike for each day till I am home again.
In just 12 days I will be leaving Singapore and that thought is both depressing and poignant. Essentially, I will losing 1 month this year; July. July will be practically non-existence for me. Oh, I will be deeply aware of each passing day. The question is will I be able to enjoy each day or will it just be a countdown? A strike for each day till I am home again.
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