A Good Day

Yesterday was a good day, more or less. We ate at Hans to celebrate a colleague's birthday and bought a cake too. But, it was a hectic day as we had to rush filing again.

In the evening, after a late log out, I went down to Changi Airport to meet up with the rest of the family and aunt as the grandparents were coming back from China. We dined at Astons at Terminal 1 and went for dessert at the Chinese restaurant next to it. The mango sago is just so brilliant!

I feel that we should do this more often. It's great to just forget all my troubles for a while and have fun. Too bad, I've to work on Friday nights starting from the following week. We'll see though, as I already said I can't guarantee.

Terminal 1 is so stuffy and packed nowadays, due to the construction going on. I know that they are trying to beautify the place but the on-going process is hardly worth it. Since I got use to the airiness and open-concept of Terminal 3, T1 just seems like a poor comparison.

My grandparents seemed to have a good time at Hainan. I suppose the treatment is different when a celebrity, albeit a local one, was part of the crew. There were about 200 tourists in this tour package alone.

While I would have baulk at the thought of so many people in one tour group, there are merits too. For one, the local people over there would welcome you with open arms. Imagine booking half of the hotel, you could just see the dollar-signs in their eyes.

A-waiting

19 days till Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 arrives at the silver screens in Singapore shores. Of course, this is also the time where the movie is screened across the world, thrilling millions of fans and viewers alike.

The news of Deathly Hallows part 1 not being made into 3D disappoints and heartens me. It is disappointing to note that we’ll not be seeing this epic story given a boost with the magical touch.

However, between a bad 3D movie and a good 2D one, I’d rather watch the latter. It is heartening to see that the producers and the crew behind this franchise putting a foot down against churning out shaky 3D effects with the lack of time. This is what they should be praise for.
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Too many times have studios and what not fail to deliver the anticipated 3D because they just don’t give a care.
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November Dreams

Hooray, agony October is coming to an end! The countdown can officially begin for "numb" November.

Although, I must say, with public holidays, birthdays and of course, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 all scheduled in November, I can hardly hate it. These are the only things that can make me happy.

I've kind of lose my fire over the everyday posting of the going-ons in my internship. After a while, it kind of gets old as the same old things happen over and over again.

I realise being an intern means you are pretty much a "dog". When the person throws the stick, you are supposed to run after it. Now, I don't mean it in the literal sense. I know the saying that a person will only treat you how you want to be treated. But, I am not in a position to negotiate or even voice out.

When things start to look better, things will go downhill after that. I have a new term to coin this period: zombiefied. I am not myself.

It is not just me who see this in the company. Even the newcomer can see it. The company, which supposedly dabbled in innovative and creative courses, is not so innovative and creative afterall. In fact, the system it adopts is a rigid and narrow one.

The whole system seems forced. They can't move out of their bubble although they tried. The result ends up being neither nor there.

They want to accept others' ideas but refuses to change. They have this thinking that "oh, you can go ahead and do it, I trust you". However, when you submit it, they will be like "no, you should do this, you should do that".

I mean, what is the point of giving free rein to someone only to dash it by wanting the final outcome to go your way. It's beating around the bush and they are just wasting everyone's time. You want it your way, fine. Do it yourself or just tell that from the start, for god's sake!

And the worst of them all sits at the boss seat. He is the one who started this whole "creative" and "innovative" business, but he fails in what he preaches. He can't see things beyond what he has in mind.

All I can say is, I am glad that I am a temporary staff. It's too stuffy in that sort of place.

November Hopes

This past 2 days had been great, almost to the point where my internship seems to be nothing but a dream. How I wish it is true.

On Saturday, after work, I went for a manicure. It's been too long since I went for one, and seeing that I just received my pay cheque, I wanted to treat myself. Alas, I can only go for conservative colours because I still have to work.

On the other hand, it's gloomy thoughts for me as I was asked to go to work on Friday nights. I mean, what?! I don't want to but I can't lie so I said I'll try. After all, if I arrived late, I'll just have to call and say that I can't make it.

Sighs, I do not do this for money, despite me saying otherwise. I just couldn't lie to save myself, although I do have my pride.

Anyway, the next 2 weeks will be kind of good for me, as I do not have to work on Saturday and the upcoming public holidays. Never have I been this grateful for public holidays!

Oh, November looks to be a eventful month, for the entertainment side. There is, of course, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 to look forward to. I'm already trembling with anticipation over it.

On the 3rd of December, the last day of my internship, I'll exempt myself from Kumon because I want to celebrate my freedom.

Today, my grandparents went for a vacation in China. We went to Changi Airport early in the morning for breakfast before sending them off with cousin's family. It was a fun day indeed.

Everytime I went to Changi Airport, my heart will give a little tweak as I watch travellers departing and arriving. I want to travel too. Even though I hate the idea of flying, I still want to travel. It is such great fun to put down what you are doing and just enjoy and relax.

Gloomy Days

I know I've been blessed in many subtle ways, but how can it be, when I only see gloomy days ahead?

I pray for respite and rain. I want to see a rainbow. I want to be alive again.

I never said I was happy, at least not in the last few weeks. I never want to be part of this insanity. I sure isn't living, as per say, but rather, just managing and surviving. It's truly a pain, I tried to be open-minded and positive, but it soon turn to dust. All those hopes and wishes, they have disintegrate.

I'm begrudgingly doing what I am told, I would never do this willingly. I drag my feet to work everyday.

Thankfully, as I kept telling myself, this is temporary. All I have to do is to endure for 6 more weeks and then I can wiped them out from my life. They will ease to exist.

I can't believe how disgusting they are. Stop it! Stop trying to be helpful or whatever backstabbing thing you are doing! Stop trying to suck away my weekends! I have given up my mind and body, but I will damned if I offer my soul on a silver platter.

It is said that if you have enough of a job and finding yourself dragging your feet to work, it's time to change that job. At least, this applies when you are young or have no obligations to make. When you can afford to be choosy, please do. It's that time when you ahve no mouths to feed, or to be the breadwinner.

I wonder if I would be that type of person later on. I wish I would. I am supposed to be young, free to experience different kind of jobs and settings. If I really hate that job, I what to shove it away and hop on to another one.

I guess I still have part of my humanity left, since I am defying them in little acts. Don't judge, because it means that I can be happy. It pains me to see myself becoming a living zombie. I hate the fact that I feel like a convict each day it is time to go home.

I Know It Is Not This

"I don't know what I want, but I know it's not this"

I came across this title on a book in the library and I fell in love with it straight away. It totally conveys what I want to say.

It was pay day yesterday during my internship. Phew, 4 weeks down. After dividing the amount by 30 days and multiplying by 25, I realised I am only earning S$14 per day, from 9am to 6pm! It was astonishing, really. After subtracting off transportation fees and lunch money, I'm practically left with nothing.

No wonder my cash on hand is depleting like there is no tomorrow. On the other hand, my bank reserves can only get higher. I suppose I am nearing my plan to save enough and more for a graduation trip.

On the other end of the spectrum, since I only have taken one part-time job so far, I can only use that to compare, I am earning S$5 per hour. Not much, by any other account, that is the unofficial minimum pay.

Still, today I worked for 7 hours, which means that I've earned S$35.

Damn it, why I am working my b*** off? Oh, right, because this internship is compulsory and graded. So, that grade better be worth it because it has to be equivalent to all those cash I've lost and given away.

One more thing, what happens if your boss wants to add you on Facebook? That is exactly what my boss did. What the crap? Why is he bothering anyway?

I'm hardly going to change my life over someone unimportant. Although, if I really do add him, I will take all precautions to prevent him from knowing what I've been typing. Then again, if I ignore him, what is he to do about it? Write in my report that I refuse to be his "friend"? Creep.

Anyhoo, regardless of whether I will add him or not, I will delete him from my list once this internship ends, because our contact ends there and then.

Fodder for Bad Press

I'll start with the good news, I don't have to buy the 2,000 stamps for now. Hooray! And I've definitely learn my lesson, I'll not be bringing extra cash to work anymore. Next time they want me to buy something, I'll be saying that I don't have extra cash on me.

It's time we put our feet down at this type of workplace bullying, nevermind that they will pay us back sooner or later.

Are they kidding me? It's awfully insensitive of them to assume that our cash are at their disposal. It's also presumptuous of them to assume we will be free to follow them to some event at night.

Anyway, today, I've something else to write in my report. I'm supposed to do some kind of write-up for each of the corporate gift and they were the ones who told me that I can write what I think is right.

Then, he came to tell me that he don't like my writing and I was like, "ok, how do you want me to change?" This is what I hate about him, he did not give any constructive feedback at all. He said "I don't know, just change". I mean, what the heck, this is the way I write, you want to change, fine, at least tell me where I went wrong or something. Don't just give such a non-solid feedback.

Besides, If you don't like it, then for god's sake, you can always edit it yourself or make changes. Sure, I want to learn but you are not making it easy for me! I think he just like his own style best so he might as well write all of them himself since it looks like he can't accept others.

In the morning, when no one was in the office except the two interns, we were talking about the bad things in this company and THIS guy and how loathsome he is. The company is fodder for bad press.

There are so many things that we can't take it and the blatant way they treat us, the interns. Don't blame me for being defensive all the time because you lot aren't better yourselves.

I may tolerant this guy but I don't respect him at all. Besides, I plan of wiping the memory of them by deleting them once the 11th weeks end. It will be nothing but a nightmare.

I have no love for the company, don't worry. The only thing I want is to get my good grade and good evaluation. Once the evaluation is handed in, I'll pretend we've never met.

Once the last day rolls in, I'll throw my hands up in joy.

Money Can't Buy You Love

I can't believe how much I've spend on that god-forsaken company in this past 3 weeks. Heck, my pay is only S$440 and I've spent over S$100 plus on stationary items.

Now, this is going overboard. I've to buy 2,000 stamps tomorrow and my parents told me that it'll be over S$500 plus. So what? I'm to spend my savings on this useless thing and wait for the boss to pay me back?

What if he don't pay me back? What if he keeps delaying? I've all sorts of worries regarding this issue. He said he would transfer money to my bank account but how will I know it? Unless, I check on my bank account first before buying.

Does he think that we, teenagers, have a lot of savings? He's lucky that I do and can afford to wait till pay day to get back what is owed to me. Perhaps he think that money grow on trees. Asking students to fork out large sum of money first is pretty irresponsible and obnoxious of him.

Hmm, even my parents can't take it laying down. Already, they are questioning why am I not getting back the money I previously spent on the company.

This is a good point to jot down in my report as a learning point and problem faced. I mean, I could always say that I had to borrow money from my parents first and how I overcome it is by spending less on my meals.

Damn him and his way of doing things. We'll see how it goes. In my mind, I want to do all sorts of nasty things to him. He can wait for defamation and a "lawyer letter" if he cheats me of my money.

I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.

Worldly Goods

Something got me thinking about what worldly goods I want this Christmas and further on. Surprisingly, nothing really catches my eye, yet.

I am eyeing for a Pandora bracelet for my graduation, as a graduation present. As for birthday, I'm hoping for something special.

I'm saving up for the trip to USA, of course. I want to shop and spend those well-deserved, hard earned money on what I like. I want to see what I having been waiting to see one year ago.

I know, money isn't easy to come by and yet, there is a part of me that crave for branded items. Not the really high end brands though, just a little higher than normal, if you know what I mean.

Birthday Celebration

It's been awfully long since I update on the brighter side of my life.

Last Sunday, 3th October, we celebrated my Grandfather's birthday at some Hong Kong styled restaurant.

I always look forward to these kind of gatherings and dinners because it means that we are still together, as a family. It makes me feel very blessed as we can shared such canon moments. It is also something to look forward as it means good food, well, more or less.

Take Back My Words

I was wrong. I take back my words. Blessed indeed, yeah right.

Being a slave is apparently somewhere on my job scope. Please, I don't even have a proper job scope.

Why am I dealing all these crap anyway? If not for my grade and reputation, I would have protested. Like I said before, if there were to be no consequences, I would have done something bad to the lot of them.

Today can top the list of ridiculous things I'm being made to do. Yesterday, I had to do all kinds of stupid signages for the office. Today, all because of the printer's fault, I had to lug the laminator home and being asked to print over 40 pages of coloured documents which are not important at all!

If I'm not allowed to scold and curse them now, I don't know when I'll be able to do so. Isn't it ridiculous? Isn't it unreasonable?

I had to use MY own printer, MY own printer ink to print OFFICE stuff. Can you see the reasoning in it, huh?

Although, the boss did say that he would pay me back the ink. Of course he must, what am I, a fool that he can lead by the nose?

And adding insult to injury, I have to arrive one hour earlier to Sunday's "team building" event to put up the signage. So, on top of being a delivery man, I had to be a lackey as well.

You know what? If they ever hold a team building event every month, this will be the first and the last activity I'll be going. The next time something like this happens, I'm going to say that I'm to be a bridesmaid/attend grandparent's birthday. So what? An excuse can save a person's sanity. Not too bad.

If I'm not given the due credit for all these grieve they caused me, they are going to be in trouble. If I get a pass with commendation, that is because I deserve it. And I pass, it is more than what they own me. Damn it.

Blending the Days

I hate writing and coming up with what is known as "political correct" answers.

You know, you wish to say something bad about that certain country but can only hold your tongue because it would mean war?

I hated it! I want to shout it out loud. But, alas, I can't, because I have a front to keep up. A facade, you may say. This is life. This is what it means by white lies. I can only put my insults in a nice package and delivered it via mailman.

Today was better. Partly, I think because the boss isn't in. I swear, he has some sort of obsessive-compulsive disorder, he has to have things all done to perfection.

Bloody brilliant, we are not designers or studying design, and yet he expect us to design all sort of stupid posters for the office. What are we, fools? He had us labelling the whole office with stupid terms like this and that. God, inwardly, I was rolling my eyes all the sheer stupidity of it.

Why would someone want to label the toilet, fridge and bench? Huh? Tell me.

Hmmm, 9 weeks more. It has been difficult to pass this week. But, as the days blend together and I taking one day at a time, it can only improve.

Blessed, my foot

What a miserable day filled with miserable worms! I want to curse every single of them. Damn them all!

I can't believe after a few days I said I was more blessed, something like this happens.

If there is ever a chance I am offered the job, I will very happily reject it. If ever they ask me whether I would like to join the company, I will say you can take the job and shove it. You s***kers.

Frankly, I don't need your miserable job in that miserable company. It isn't even a good place to travel to. I don't need your pitiful amount of cash, if I ever need that to survive, I'd have starve.

I'm young. I'm head-strong. I'm stubborn. If I can't be that now, when will I have the chance to be? When I'm old enough to have proper responsibilities and desperate for a job?

Obviously I have dreams. I dream of a better tomorrow. This job just tells me that if I don't look hard and deep enough, I'll suffer and pay deeply.

But, I guess, there's a salvation. First, I didn't choose this, I was forced into it. So, I can hate it for all I care. Secondly, I would never have chose this stupid job anyway. Thirdly, it is temporary! I thank all the gods for this fact.

At least, when I get the money and run, I can say good riddance to bad rubbish with relish and spend it on something that is worth a hundred times more than this sorry company.

I want to curse them with every curse and hex known. If it isn't illegal, I want to AK them.

9 more weeks.

19th Commonwealth Games

The 19th Commonwealth Games opened with a bang in India yesterday night.

This is my first time watching the Commonwealth Games. Previously, I have heard briefly about it but never experienced it because the local TV channel do not support it. I guess now we have the chance to see it is because it is held in Asia.

Anyway, after much negative publicity in recent weeks, India have more or less delivered a rousing games. For its sake and pride, the next couple of weeks have to go on smoothly, without much fanfare, if it does not want to tarnish its image any further.

I sort of fear for India, because no country deserved such scrutiny on a worldwide level. The feeling stings big time.

So, India, I wish you all the best. Because of the Games being held in your country, I get the chance to be part of the Games.

In Memoriam

It came as a blow this evening, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, the wife of Minister Mentor, had passed away.

It just further cement one of my greatest fear because as the days pass, I fear that Mr Lee will leave us one day. Now, I know a person can't jolly well live forever. But there is a part in me that I won't have to deal with it in recent years.

It will be a big day for Singapore should that day comes, because world leaders will surely come here and pay their respects and since Mr Lee is a renowned person around the world and have won the respect of many, this is a big issue indeed.

There will be at least a day of mourning and a national holiday will be declared.

By then, I hope to have read one of his biographies and interviews.

As a young Singaporean, not hitting twenty yet, it may seems a little weird for me to let my emotions run in such matters. I don't particularly care about politics but I do care about the welfare of the country. At the minimum, I do read and care in world issues.

I guess I can be considered a "fan" of Mr Lee as I think he really has aid Singapore a lot, together with other early political members. I shudder to think of how it will be for us should an alternate universe occurs. Would I still have free rein typing this tonight?

Comparing ourselves to other countries, we have so much to be thankful for. Yet, obviously, people will want more, searching for their perfect Eden.

Perhaps, when you become a head yourself, in your own country, then you can set up your own laws and regulations for your own people. Till then, be content and appreciative. Even better, you will realise governing a country is not as easy as you thought.

A good quote to use here is "My boat, my rules" from Sleep Talkin' Man.

For now, RIP Mrs Lee.

October Wish

My October wish is for October to go faster so that I can get away from this agony. Out of the 3 months, October will be the worst because it's limbo. By the time November comes around, it will high time to start a proper countdown.

I managed to survive another week in internship, so that makes it 2 weeks down. 9 more weeks to go.

During the internship, I’ve experienced a different kind of environment and now, I have an inkling of what kind of work and environment I’ll like to work under. The aspects of work life which I like and not preferred, this internship is more of the latter.

If there is something really deep I learn in this internship, it is that I want to keep my options wide open and really choose a good job to settle down. The last thing I want to do is to sell my soul to the devil.

I'll never do that because it is plain stupid. That is also why the plan of setting up my own business will not occur to me now. Perhaps for some, experiencing this motion makes them want to be their own boss. For me, it's something ugly and seriously, being your own boss equals no balanced work life.

Furthermore, since I will be graduating real soon, my immediate plans is to think about my options, go for a well-deserved holiday, think about it some more and go for further studies. That is my plan.

I really don't feel like working after experiencing it for 10 days. It's a chore, to drag yourself awake and drag your feet to work. You basically have no life because once you come home, it's dinner and some time for yourself before going to bed.

I was discussing about the ugly side of work with my fellow intern and I realised that I have no wish to travel that far for work, I thought gloomily to myself.
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You know what? After going through today's sharing session, I've found out I'm much blessed. The way things are going for me cannot be compared to what some classmates gone through. I would have curse and swear to the bank if I land one of their unfortunate jobs.

Calling out all day long? You've got to freaking kidding me! I will cry everyday if I have to do that.

Working in a travel agency and having to work through the weekends? Working in a hotel? Once again, no way in hell. See? This is way I did not choose tourism in the first place. I knew such horrors would happen. Choosing tourism as a major is so much different than working in the industry.

I should count my blessings then. At least, I am stuck with a 9 - 6 job, five days a week. At least my job scope is better than some which do repetitive work throughout their 11 weeks internship.

Still, of course, there are people who landed better jobs than me. I know that. But, it's somewhat sadistic to be "gleeful" knowing that there are others who are worse than you. I can't help this feeling.

Oh well, I supposed I'm a little more appreciative of my job now. To deal with incompetent and negligent supervisors are the worst lot.

This sharing session is good. It broadens up my perspective and allows me to view things in a clearer picture. Though, I have to say, that does not make me less likely to complain and rant about my worklife. I have to have an outlet to vent my anger.