Fodder for Bad Press

I'll start with the good news, I don't have to buy the 2,000 stamps for now. Hooray! And I've definitely learn my lesson, I'll not be bringing extra cash to work anymore. Next time they want me to buy something, I'll be saying that I don't have extra cash on me.

It's time we put our feet down at this type of workplace bullying, nevermind that they will pay us back sooner or later.

Are they kidding me? It's awfully insensitive of them to assume that our cash are at their disposal. It's also presumptuous of them to assume we will be free to follow them to some event at night.

Anyway, today, I've something else to write in my report. I'm supposed to do some kind of write-up for each of the corporate gift and they were the ones who told me that I can write what I think is right.

Then, he came to tell me that he don't like my writing and I was like, "ok, how do you want me to change?" This is what I hate about him, he did not give any constructive feedback at all. He said "I don't know, just change". I mean, what the heck, this is the way I write, you want to change, fine, at least tell me where I went wrong or something. Don't just give such a non-solid feedback.

Besides, If you don't like it, then for god's sake, you can always edit it yourself or make changes. Sure, I want to learn but you are not making it easy for me! I think he just like his own style best so he might as well write all of them himself since it looks like he can't accept others.

In the morning, when no one was in the office except the two interns, we were talking about the bad things in this company and THIS guy and how loathsome he is. The company is fodder for bad press.

There are so many things that we can't take it and the blatant way they treat us, the interns. Don't blame me for being defensive all the time because you lot aren't better yourselves.

I may tolerant this guy but I don't respect him at all. Besides, I plan of wiping the memory of them by deleting them once the 11th weeks end. It will be nothing but a nightmare.

I have no love for the company, don't worry. The only thing I want is to get my good grade and good evaluation. Once the evaluation is handed in, I'll pretend we've never met.

Once the last day rolls in, I'll throw my hands up in joy.

SIT Exam & Sentiments

What a heck of a ride!

Phew, I am glad that I went through it alive, more or less. I am certain that my brain cells died, a lot, and of course, my spirits.

Semester 3.1 is a killer term. I never saw this coming.

Hmmm, today's SIT exam, how should I put it? I am speechless and I think I required therapy to get over it.

It's not difficult, as per say. But, you know me, I didn't finish studying till the last minute. I swear I won't do that again. It's hard, so hard to remember everything.

The test is very lengthy. There are so many things to write and I ran out of time. Damn you all! I can't believe my mind went blank at the crucial question! I just sort of gave up when I realised the time I lacked.

No, no, I don't think I won't do well. But, the ball is not in my court now, all eyes will be on the teacher's decisions. Please, I really need that A, I still harbour hopes that I can get that A.

The questions asked are not exactly common sense, there are some which requires pure memorise work. I think I did fairly well, I just hope that the points I gave fit.

1 hour and 50 minutes is not enough! I scribbled my way on the second hour and thought that I will still have time. I should have done the case-study questions first! The problem is that I spent too long on the short-answer questions.

Sighs, the term is almost over and I thank god for it. Any longer and I can just go bang my head. It's too much, I can't take it. I really need a getaway to escape from reality.

Who will sponsor me for a getaway? Nobody but myself. If I have the means, I will surely go for a nice little retreat. This is what I plan to do when I start working proper. So, saving is the top priority.

Now, now, I keep putting off things for "Destination Orlando", I'll really hurl if I don't fulfil my year-long goal. I save and save, all for this trip. I must make it successfully or else... It will be a reward for all the things I have done over the years. I deserve it, don't I?

All the things I did, I did them for the greater good. So, please, don't ever disappoint me.

Semester 3.1 has been really tough. It's been a uphill battle. It's as if we are some poor soldiers with nary a weapon in our hands. The lecturers this time round have been tough too. I've witness the good, the bad and the weird. This term, they consist of the bad and weird.

I've lose hopes of getting a good lecturer.

Anywho, I won't see them again, I hope. This semester is nearly done, well, except for the exams. I'm nearly out, which I fear. There won't be another chance like this, ever. And when the time comes, I'll look back and scoff at whatever I am writing now.

I will look back with fond and not-so-fond memories and laugh in horror over these posts. Sheesh, I am getting too sentimental. I guess what I need is a good cry.

Rose-painted Glasses

"What, afraid of a little competition?"

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Who isn't? Though I hate myself for feeling so competitive when I am looking in wonder at my life.
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PDI presentation was over and I guessed it went ok. Other groups were better at this, I had to admit. For some reason, I just don't find this subject and presentation as satisfying as the others. But, I still hope that we can get at least a B+.
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For some reason, I'm having conflicted feelings whether the term ending is a good thing. Apparently, I can't make up my mind. On one hand, I am voicing out my happiness vocally, because this is the almost the end of the crap of a term. On the other hand, though, there have been good days.
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The August holidays is something that marks the end of the polytechnic life and yet, while I look forward to it since the beginning, it is something sinister.
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3 weeks, there could only be 3 weeks of utter relaxation and bliss before everything will turn into a neverending nightmare. Of course, I have forgotten that during the 3 weeks, I am suppose to be studying for the end-semester exams.
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So, I've to plan on what to do during that precious 3 weeks. Surely, it will be the time to catch up on my previously bought books and more new books. Which means that I'll have to cut down on the time spend online.
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I have to make the Harry Potter DH countdown clock! With help from my brother, perhaps. It have to be magnificent, so I will have to find gorgeous pictures.
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I have to tidy up the room as well. I have to paint, ah, must not forget. I have to continue to make beadwork. I have to work! Which is a stupid idea.
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I'll write more when time permits. But, if not now, then when?

Reflections

"Selfish is a beautiful word"

And why not? For everything you live for, it's for yourself. While the world does not spin for you, things do revolve around you.

I believe everything happen for a reason. I must credit luck and the higher powers for the things I have and achieved, but at the same time, I believe I deserve it.

Of course I feel proud whenever I got good results, because I know that it's another hurdle passed. Let's just say I would stop at nothing to get there.

And is it truly a bad thing to wish so hard for things to go your way? Perhaps they don't need it as much as I do. Perhaps given the effort I put in, I believe I should get a greater share. Don't ask of me to share the success with the rest of the people who did nothing to contribute. Afterall, we aren't even acquaintances.

"As the term winds down, it's time to reflect"

Truly, I am right. It's been an emotional roller-coaster. It's been a "hell of a ride". I've been through highs and lows, pretty low in fact. I must say, I am blessed with good group members who are dedicated to the course.

Because I know we couldn't do it alone. As much as things differ and feelings may arise, we still stuck close and let's pray that our hard work pays off.

I don't know. I know we can't possibly dominate all subjects, but a girl could wish. Besides, one or two teams are pretty competitive this time round.

And this is what I fear and hate. I hate myself for feeling competitive and wanting to compete on everything. I had to. I fear that suddenly we will ease to exist. This is why I try so hard, to do well and be good. I am a firm believer that overall matters.

Somehow, I am not as sure this time compared to last semester. It's near impossible to get all As again. I swear I'll scream if I did it. I need a miracle, a couple, actually. Please.

Disgusted

I'm thoroughly disgusted by the subject of Product Development and Innovation. Perhaps, I'm just not into designing products from scratch, especially all those technical parts.

Anyway, things are wrapping up and winding down. Let's just get tomorrow over and done with and I can finally start on housekeeping. By deleting away all those bits and pieces of drafts. They are all over the place. Urgh.

I'm thankful for the group members who have stuck through, since they are the ones who more or less keep this project alive. But, it is not saying I didn't keep any project alive. I guess everyone just have his/her day.

The final hours are always the hardest to pass. I'm so stress over the freaking presentation. 30 minutes! How am I going to endure that? And we have to show our prototype as well.

Luckily (or not), we are the first group to present. In a way, there is no benchmarking for us, once the presentation is done, we can relax and see other groups' presentation.

If ours is good enough, we can perhaps breathe a sign of relief. If it's not, then what is done is done. I think the lecturer won't be changing our marks, unless there is moderation again.

Tomorrow...

Downfall

Would this be my downfall?

Event Management sure is the bane of my existence in this semester. The lecturer is really not good despite having all the credentials he has, and the project is slowly killing me. One good thing is that I won't have to see the projects again once they are done. "Out of sight, out of mind."

The only thing I can get back is to rate him badly in the appraisal. I swear I will. God, he just isn't suitable to teach, that's all. He don't reach out to students, are not helpful at all!

Once upon a time, I nearly gave up on Marketing, and that was back when I had nothing to lose. Now, with glory within reach, this just have to happen. Please, please, I beg of you, let me have the As.

For just one night, I would like to not think about projects at all. Damn you all, I can't believe my eyes get teary as I type.

As weird as this sounds, I can't wait till Friday. But first, we must be satisfy with the projects first.

Director's Honours List 2010

Ho Ho Ho! Finally! It's a dream come true for me!

Last year I was disappointed I didn't get into the Direct Honours List. Guess what?! I got in this time round!

Wow, I would say I can't believe it, but in truth, I can. I work hard for one whole year, semester 2.2 was extremely gruelling but I pulled through with all As and distinctions.

Yes, now my efforts paid off and instead of the more subtle results slip, I can have my parents attending the ceremony.

I've to say this is my and their first time attending such event. This is the moment of glory and pride for me. I am going to treasure it like no other. One more happy moment to add into the list.

In all my school life, I didn't get close to getting awards. Recognition for my yearly efforts is practically close to none. Sure, I was first in class once in secondary school and that was it. Nineteen years later, this came and I was ecstatic.

The Director's Honours List is awarded to students in the top 10 percent of the whole Diploma in Business cohort.

Now, the last year for me. I don't think this chance is going to come to my doorsteps again. It's just too difficult with the way things are going. With luck and help from divine powers, may it be that I can grace the doors again.

This is extremely helpful in giving me the boost I desperately needed in this godforsaken term. Hopefully, I can get back on my feet again and be the best that I can.

Blast of a Year

Holy Crow! I'm literally flirting with deadlines here.

It's only the second day and I'm feeling the pressure and stress that is in association with Year 3. "You are no longer in Year 2", to quote the lecturers. Well, obviously. But they expect greater things from us this time round.

If I thought Sem 2.2 was tough, honestly speaking, it seems like child play. Really. Looking back, I realised those were so much easier than what we are doing now.

2010 will pass soon enough. The tentative timetable is like this.

By July, we'll finish all projects. August will see us a one month study break/holiday due to the Youth Olympics Games. Thank goodness! First 2 weeks of September will be exams, then comes the Internship/attachment for 3 months. Around December, which will be well into Semester 3.2, the internship will end. Back to school for a couple of more subjects, then it's time to graduate.

This means that by February 2011(if I'm not wrong), everything will come to a close. Around April/May 2011, there will be a graduation ceremony, as it's happening now. Wow, to think that next year will be us. I'm going, of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

So, it's either I leave for my trip before or after the graduation ceremony.

Oh my god! This is insane! What a tight schedule to operate on! I don't think I can get myself into the mood of enjoying even my brithday.

The months and days will blend together so much so that I'll work myself up in a frenzy. As seen from the tentative dates above, technically, I'll have no holidays. So, it's just my luck that YOG is here this year and we get to have a break!

Fortunately, among this mess, there will still be simple pleasures in life. There are movie events, books release coming up that I can treat myself myself.

As for work, we'll see how that goes. I'm toeing a fine line by working and studying at the same time in such a crucial year. Where my priorities lie, of that I'm certain. Still, it'll be good if I can have cash by my side. God knows I need money for my coveted trip.

Tuesdays are going to be a bomb. I'll be leaving home early in the morning (7am) and only be back at (10pm plus). What a joke! Stupid arrangements.

I can still take it this couple of weeks, once the semester really starts, I'll have to decline any other work on other days.

This year is going to be blast. This year is the year where limits will be pushed and tested, where emotions will run high. All in all, I must get ready for an emotional rollar-coaster ride of a lifetime.

If I lose my sanity behind... prayers will be needed...

Le Premier Jour

"When Life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand something else"

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First day in school as a senior. Officially.
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Wow, it was a torture waking at 5.30am after a nearly 2 months hiatus. Naturally, buses were full of people but the bus I took had vacant seats.
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When I reached school, the front area near Engineering School had lots of people milling around. I bet most of them were first year students waiting for friends. It's quite funny though.
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Like my friend said, freshmen usually tend to stick around as a class for the first one month or so, and then they will start to spilt into their various groups and cliques.
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For us, we have "been there, done that". I'm quite desensitized.
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The situation in the canteens and buses are going to be bad for the first few weeks. There will be lots of students, all eager to make it. After the original first few weeks, attendance will drop and canteens will have vacant seats again. Not that I like canteen food.
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So, first day lecture was Event Management. I just found out that the month of August will be a holiday (study weeks) for us. It is due to the high participant rate in the Youth Olympics Games and the fact that the few week of September will be the examinations.
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Yay! All the more for me. I can treat it as a minor holiday before the day of reckoning.
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However, rather than cutting study materials short, I guess they squeeze all the syllabus before August. The deadlines for projects are certainly so. Oh boy, projects here and there. Have to start early.
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Well, that's that. Nothing to talk about actually. I'm glad to see my friends. One last year before everything changes. The debacle on JCs, Polys and Universities is making me very nervous and anxious. It's certainly a reality check for me.
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I know that going to University from a Poly route isn't going to be easy, but never have I thought it will be so tedious and difficult. I used to think that as long as I get good results, I can stand a fairly good chance of making it. Now? Not so much.
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I never think of stopping with a Diploma only from Day One. In my opinion, that's really not a choice if I want what I want. Each of us have different thinking, it's how you work it out that matters.
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In the past, I harbour thoughts and plans to go to an overseas University. I still do so, but I guess my dreams are going to crash. Going overseas is and still is my first choice for studies. If I can't make it this time round, there is always higher education like Masters. Then, I'll go overseas.
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At least, I have one year to work things out in my favour. I just need the strength and will-power to do that. If I am not changing now, when will I do so?
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Things aren't looking too good now. Life isn't a bed of roses, I know that. I just never thought that it will be a bed of steel needles. Sighs.
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Having work on Tuesdays and Fridays. Double Sigh.

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Taking Off & Timetable

Alright! Timetable for Semester 3.1 will be out by tomorrow 10.00am.
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I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying that I'll get a brilliant one. What I want is good distribution of the subjects (going home early) and good lecturers/tutors. Please, please, please... -
If there really is a need to choose between the two, I will go for the latter. Please, I need someone real good and approachable for Managerial Accounting 1. Actually, I have a teacher in mind, let's just see if I have the good fortune to get him. I really want to get him...
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Well, I need some time off to go for work too. Can't believe I'm saying this huh? Shrugs. I need cash for my big plans.
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So, the ball is not in my court anymore. If tomorrow timetable proves to be great, the tentative title for it shall be "C'est bon". If not, then it shall be be "Craptastic".
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On Friday, 9th April, after work, the family went to Changi Airport to bid adieu to my cousin who was going to Taiwan for his army stint.
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Wow, the meeting place was filled with army boys and their loved ones. I heard that they will be having an SQ plane all by themselves.
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Their flight left at dawn.
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Before that, we went to McDonald's for supper. As we finished ordering and standing by the side to get our trays, someone spilled his hot beverages, all over us. The 3 of us, my cousin, brother and I, got scalded on the legs.
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At first, it was shocked. I thought that my brother was the one who spilled them. Turned out to be another guy. My brain didn't register the hotness at first. Actually, looking back, it didn't feel that scalding.
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But, there was tendrils of smoke wafting from the spilled drinks on the floor.
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Anyway, had our supper and we went to the meeting area. I bet the tourists must be wondering what was going on. It's almost midnight and there was this large group of people hanging about.
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In the end, we left just after midnight since I needed to wake up early the next morning.
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D for Denial

Denial with the capital letter D.

On the other hand, how can I be in denial when the facts are 'in my face'? I hardly doubt it's called denial at this stage. Sure, I am reluctant to let go and face the future, but I can't change facts, can I?

One last week of utter freedom and being a person with no heavy responsibilities. Time is passing as I typed. It's like after being let out for good behaviour, now, I'm back to the dungeons.

I've so much to do before school starts.

Diffferent Wavelengths

Feeling rather melancholy and depressed these few days. It must be the fact the school will be reopening soon... Gone with the wind are the holidays.

Why do I, do I love ... holidays? Because I don't have heavy responsibilities, I don't have to answer to myself or to others. I can laze around and be myself. I can read when I feel like it. I can do what I like, when I like.

With school comes responsibilities. I don't have much chance to read or use the laptop for purely entertainment purposes. I have to stress myself over projects and tests and what not. I came back home each day feeling worse for wear.

Urgh... Words can't describe how I feel. It's like suffocation. I just wish this feeling would pass.

Frankly, I don't see why is going to school so exciting. Perhaps I operate on a different wavelength from others. As it never cross my mind to think about school that way. To me, it's an obligation and the answer. However, I would like to continue with University.

Or maybe its because of the exciting things happening without me? Reading all those news about the Wizarding World makes me depressed too.

Whatever is going on with me, it better pass. I have to get myself together as I storm through my senior year. Then it's good riddance.