Freak Out

I feel like puking.

This is like queuing for a roller-coaster ride, and I hate the feeling! The big problem here is that I've never been on a roller-coaster before. Well, there's always a first in everything.

But, oh gods, I just want to hide in a hole and cry. Is it silly? Is it naive? I should be glad that I, at least, have a companion, even though I am not acquainted with her.

It is natural to be freaking out, right? I've never done this in my short life. It's like going on a journey all by myself, which I'm planning to do so soon.

All I can tell myself is that this is all for the greater good. Want to have a good trip? You must do this internship well and thorough. Only then can I have the results to show that I deserve the trip. I swear that I'll reward myself properly.

Only tomorrow will tell whether all my worries are for naught. Only time will tell whether this is a good company. Only time will tell, darling.

I shall end here for now, tomorrow will be a brand new day and it will be just like travelling to a new school, meeting new people.

We'll see what happens, won't we?

Fare Thee Well

"The world as I know it will end tomorrow. Be afraid, be very afraid"

-

It's just like going to a new school, right?! The feelings are the same, the same breathlessness, the same fluttering, the same dread.

Trust me, I'm really nervous, my heart is all a-flutter. I can't think straight. I desperately want things to be good and yet I know that if I think too much, I'll just end up being disappointed.

I can please people, can't I? Haven't I been doing that since young? All I have to do is to be amiable and helpful-looking. If I really hate it, I can always rant on this blog, yes? Besides, it's only 3 months. It will be a lesson, no matter what.

However, I guess, because this is graded internship, the pressure is on whether you serve at the right dosage. I can't lose it all to a silly little thing like this which cost 8 CUs.

Oh, how I wish things are different. Still, this is the only opportunity for real sort of work. It'll certainly be an experience to remember.

I feel guilty for spending so much on the clothes and what not for this internship. Damnation! But, it is inevitable, what with me being in a office. I mean, I certainly have to wear office wear, non? For someone who only own jeans, shorts and T-shirts, this is a big investment. Of course, I need shoes too.

Then, I will have to spend another huge sum on the concession fare for transportation. $90 plus for a freaking month! I don't think the measly pay is able to cover my losses.

Cheers, to going home late, to squeezing with the working people on the MRT and bus, to be an entity. Cheers, for listening ears and sympathetic faces.