Waving the White Flag

If I could surrender without any consequence, trust me, I would have wave that white flag from the start. It's not that I do not have guts, it's just that I'm more of a self-preservation sort. If I have known the horrors, would I still continue on? I don't think so.

My father once said that interns are no different from volunteers after I said that volunteers are cheap labour whom you only need to provide meals for. I don't think so. The major difference between interns and volunteers starts with the letter V.

Volunteerism means that you willingly go ahead with whatever you partake. You understand the clauses and go ahead with it because it means something to you. On the other hand, interns, at least for us, it's forced. FORCED, in capital letters.

I most certainly didn't agree or go ahead willingly. I don't understand the clauses and do not wish to sign on the dotted line.

Besides, volunteerism means you should be happy and it is justify that you don't get cash in return.

If there is one thing worse than cheap labour, it is free labour. I am having morbid thoughts about when and how we are getting our just payment. My mind is filled with "what-ifs". They are a failure if they think they can get away with that.

Singapore Grand Prix 2010

Singapore is called the "crown jewel" in the Formula One race. As a Singaporean, I couldn't agree more.

Singapore is so spectacular and amazing at night! The skyline is really beautiful, now that Marina Bay Sands stands proudly against the night sky. While it is not exactly dazzling, Singapore can be on par with other countries'.

This is the 3rd race in Singapore and it still is getting rave reviews from foreign viewers. Yesterday's race was indeed a good one, with crashes and fires and situations that makes your heart thump. Such is the case of Hamilton and Webber incident. I'm so glad that Mark Webber came out unharmed and finished in a podium finish.

Fernando Alonso won, fair and square this time. He maneuvered with style and was leading from start to finish.

This year, since my original favourite was not inside, I decided to support Mark Webber, Sebastian Vettel and Jenson Button. There are two who are in Red Bull and Jenson Button in McLaren.

Singapore is still the only country with a night race and it certainly up the standards. With the street circuit aglow with megawatt lights, it seems like the sun shines on the particular route.

The night race attracts people because it is something new and with the backdrop being picture-perfect, who could ask for more?

Doing a Lucrative Business

One week in this entrepreneur company and I have the gist of doing a successful business. And I'll even share it here so that people will not be dominating the lucrative industry.

Actually, it doesn't take a genius to know this, but still, people may not thought of this before. First, charge your clients an exorbitant rate, say S$25,000 for a 3 day training programme. On the other hand, pay your staff the minimum wage rate, say S$440 for a month.

Thank you, Captain Obvious, for pointing out the huge difference in standards.

I've another tip for scoring in the area of cheap labour. Tie up with schools and keep looking for part-timers. Who needs full-time workers when you have part-timers aplenty? Interns will be gone after 3 months, no problem, there will always be another school sending their interns in.

To do a simple calculation, there will only need to be 4 schools sending in two interns per 3 months for them to achieve that success in monetary terms. And you have no idea how much they freaking earn!

Now you know. Go out there, start a business with minimum staff and maximum output and you can get rich, just like that.

And this is sarcasm, in case you wonder.

A Galore

I've been thinking up a perfect title to match my results for Semester 3.1. I've been harbouring hopes of pulling off another miracle this time round.

I didn't manage to sign up for the SMS service for the results and had to wait until 12 plus before the results are updated online.

Guess what? It's A galore indeed. I'm so happy, actually. But somehow, my mood just don't pick up. I guess I'm really feeling blue. Alas, my otherwise perfect score is marred by a blemish that starts with the letter B.

Product Development & Innovation, oh, how I hate thee! I knew the subject was bad news from the start. I just knew it because I know we couldn't pull this off. I had my doubts from the beginning. There were so many aspects that I just don't feel good about.

Let's do a recap for the grades of each subject.

Event Management - Distinction. I can't contain my glee when I saw that I have a distinction for it! It's really a big surprise for me.

I thought I had some regrets regarding the exam and the group project but I'm so glad the teacher actually liked it. I guess he's not so bad afterall.

Special Interest Tourism - Distinction. My hope from the start, it's good that it didn't let me down. I have a good feeling for this subject despite some reservations from the start.

After the group project presentation, I knew that we clinched the deal because, pardon me, I think ours is the most well-done in the class.

Managerial Accounting 1 - A. Phew. I managed to score an A. I was lowering my expectations to a B+ days before the main examination because I was so worried.

Strategic Entrepreneurship - A. This is the subject that we worked so hard on and to please the weird lecturer. I'm happy that we managed to please him.

Product Development & Innovation - B. I should have see this coming. It's actually a little surprise that I scored this grade. Oh well, what is done is done. It's a freckle that can't be erased.

I don't know why the CGPA isn't updated yet. Don't tell me that I'm stuck at this CGPA. But it can't be, there should be changes.

I've one last shot at graduating with honours and I'll be damned if I don't get it. I will give semester 3.2 my best shot if only I have the higher powers on my side. Please do not let there be any class changes. Not at this critical moment.

Utter Despondent

Urgh, another day of utter despondent. I was reduced to a delivery "man" again. Oh gods, I hope this is not becoming a habit.

I, and the other girl, went to collect the printing opposite the block. We were totalling rushing for time and it was raining. So, we were drenched in the rain as there is no shelter. We had to rush to Jurong Industrial area to deliver all the tools and files that they needed.

We took a cab down, which the fee will be paid back to me. It was again a mad rush to file 20 copies of notes for the training programme. Damnation, but the place is so warm and we had to hole-punched every single piece of paper.

Once everything was done, we had to get back to the office. Today and tomorrow, the office will only contain the two of us interns, since the two guys have corporate training going on.

I was counting on today to be more relaxing and fun because no one will be in the office. Who knows that something will happen.

When we reached Boon Lay Interchange, it was about 2.50pm. We went for our late lunch at Jurong Point and started the long journey back at around 3.30pm. We reached the office around 4.30pm and did some work before clocking out at exactly 6.00pm.

Hey, we totally deserved the time to eat our lunch. We may be supposed to be compliant but if we don't even have basic rights, I think it is high time someone put them in their shoes. By right, we have an hour for lunch and in that hour, we can do whatever we want.

If I want to surf the net during that time, I jolly well can do it because, technically, I am not faulting. Alas, if only everything is written out in black-and-white. Even then, there are still people who go against the contract.

What hope is there for us, lowly interns, who are no better than the construction workers out there? Heck, some foreign workers enjoy better pay and treatment than us!

We had to fork out our own money on the way home, it may be small amount, but to us, who are earning about S$2.20 a day, the transportation fare is not even enough to cover the "wage".

Cheap labour, we are. Exploitation, this is. I wonder how they managed to cope with the extreme shortage of staff before we arrived. Perhaps, they do away with the part-timers because we are here. Damn it.

Still, at least today passed quickly. Tomorrow will be a better day, if nothing drastic happens.

At least there is something to look forward to this weekend, what with the semester results and F1 Grand Prix. Woohoo!

Errand Boy

So, I've been reduced to a errand boy now, huh?

I can't believe my luck when I received that call this morning. I was told to bring a CD from the office and bring it to Bartley Secondary School to deliver it.

In my mind, I went, Oh man, it's just my luck and I, of course, cursed. But what can I do? I'm here to serve. I can't help but to rant on the money I had to fork out to take the 2 stupid buses out and back again. What the freaking thing is this?!

Let me say, the month of October is the worst. September is almost ending and November will the start of the countdown to the end. So, October is definitely the limbo.

Bah, there's nothing much to be said except that why must I get all the "dirty" work done?

Best Moment

The best part of each day, at least for this period, is going home. Oh, what joy I felt when I saw the time approaching as the day wanes.

I can't stand this any longer! 10 weeks and 3 days to go, damn it! Why? Tell me why must the days pass so slowly?

This is only the second day and I am falling asleep because of the stupid, monotonous work. This is the second day that I'm writing on the cards, all day.

It doesn't help that my wounded feet are torturing me. This is the first time that something that grievous happened to me.

Dash It

I must say, this seriously stinks! How I wish this is all a bad dream. It certainly seems so now, when I back at home, typing this. Oh, if only wishes do come true. I want a genie.

Internship is not what I envisioned, especially this at all! I tried my best to go with an open-mind but it just had to go downhill from the start.

Firstly, I had a hard time finding the freaking office because the building construction is stupid enough to put the first two rooms outside in the carpark. I mean, what the holy? What kind of idiotic design is this?

Then, the name of the office don't tally. The form they had given us is X company but the company's name outside the door is Y. Double bloody hell.

Of course, I panicked. Treacherous tears threatened to leak out and I finally gathered my courage to call the Director as he is to be our supervisor. He answered and said he is at China now. This means that I have to pick up the phone bill.

All this while, my shoes are killing me. This is my fault because I don't know why I didn't choose proper the size at the beginning. Damn it!

I saw the other girl who will be working as well and finally the person came.

The whole day was kind of dull, not that I expected fun. I rather take mundane over anything else. Oh boy, I am scared for the future. I wonder what they have in store for us. I can't get over mulling the scary truth.

Lunch was just a take-away. Sighs, this is worse than I thought.

Then came the time to leave for the day. Woohoo! I can't wait for the end of the day! As you know, my shoes almost killed me and I gritted my teeth and limped all the way from station to station. Oh gods, how humiliating and painful.

Finally, I called my father to ask him to fetch me from the MRT station and I realised that my feet are injured pretty badly. As the blisters were injured, it is just so painful when I was taking a bath.

The only good thing that comes out from this is that the end time is supposedly 6pm instead of 7pm. But, there may be overtime or work on Saturdays if necessary.

Are they freaking kidding me? Because this is not funny at all. I may be forced to sign along the lines but I certainly didn't promise to sell my soul to the Devil. Pooh! I give them my weekdays and they expect me to sacrifice my weekends too? No way in hell!

Obviously, they can't expect me to do this, hey, people have plans, alright?

Only 10 weeks and 4 days left.

Freak Out

I feel like puking.

This is like queuing for a roller-coaster ride, and I hate the feeling! The big problem here is that I've never been on a roller-coaster before. Well, there's always a first in everything.

But, oh gods, I just want to hide in a hole and cry. Is it silly? Is it naive? I should be glad that I, at least, have a companion, even though I am not acquainted with her.

It is natural to be freaking out, right? I've never done this in my short life. It's like going on a journey all by myself, which I'm planning to do so soon.

All I can tell myself is that this is all for the greater good. Want to have a good trip? You must do this internship well and thorough. Only then can I have the results to show that I deserve the trip. I swear that I'll reward myself properly.

Only tomorrow will tell whether all my worries are for naught. Only time will tell whether this is a good company. Only time will tell, darling.

I shall end here for now, tomorrow will be a brand new day and it will be just like travelling to a new school, meeting new people.

We'll see what happens, won't we?

Fare Thee Well

"The world as I know it will end tomorrow. Be afraid, be very afraid"

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It's just like going to a new school, right?! The feelings are the same, the same breathlessness, the same fluttering, the same dread.

Trust me, I'm really nervous, my heart is all a-flutter. I can't think straight. I desperately want things to be good and yet I know that if I think too much, I'll just end up being disappointed.

I can please people, can't I? Haven't I been doing that since young? All I have to do is to be amiable and helpful-looking. If I really hate it, I can always rant on this blog, yes? Besides, it's only 3 months. It will be a lesson, no matter what.

However, I guess, because this is graded internship, the pressure is on whether you serve at the right dosage. I can't lose it all to a silly little thing like this which cost 8 CUs.

Oh, how I wish things are different. Still, this is the only opportunity for real sort of work. It'll certainly be an experience to remember.

I feel guilty for spending so much on the clothes and what not for this internship. Damnation! But, it is inevitable, what with me being in a office. I mean, I certainly have to wear office wear, non? For someone who only own jeans, shorts and T-shirts, this is a big investment. Of course, I need shoes too.

Then, I will have to spend another huge sum on the concession fare for transportation. $90 plus for a freaking month! I don't think the measly pay is able to cover my losses.

Cheers, to going home late, to squeezing with the working people on the MRT and bus, to be an entity. Cheers, for listening ears and sympathetic faces.

Screw It

Wheeeeee, I'm in such a good mood today once I realised this is the last they will see of me! Hip, hip, Hooray!

This is the last weekday I'll be working, at least for the next 3 months. Gosh, I need this.

I don't have to put up with those annoying children anymore and they don't have to put up with me. It's the best of both worlds. No more easy answers! No more feeling frustrated and annoyed! No more channeling bad vibes!

I have had enough of those disgusting children for a long time. I have to put up with their crap and whining and then I started putting up a strict front. It's bad for myself and them. I hate this aspect, you know.

I ignored them for most of the part, but there are times when you can't even bordered it up.

Ha! I shan't miss them. Now that I think of it, could the internship be a blessing in disguise? I need a change of environment real bad, and this is a good chance to compare. Too bad we're treated like cheap labour.

Whereas, in this job of mine, the pay is acceptable, but the children treat you like crap. Seriously, I often wonder how they do in school and what would happen when they grow up. I often find myself comparing because I can't fathom how they can go about life like this.

True, they are young, younger than I and I pity them. The world they are going to live in is not going to be easy, at all. If ours is bad enough, then theirs will be worse. It's something to chew on.

Oh well, I know what some people will say. It's just a godforsaken part-time job, for goodness sake, don't put so much heart and emotions into it. Frankly, I don't. I don't see myself investing my share of feelings and heart in this. I used to think of myself as a robot, marking and marking from start till finish.

So, once again, I found myself in a limbo, between a wall and a cliff. The cliff is looking good at the moment and please do not disappoint me. I will try to make the most out of it.

Saturdays though, I have to meet those damned children again. But, at least it's once a week. It's a gloomy thought, but I suppose my plans will make all these worth it.

It's a plan to conquer myself and humanity.

No hard feelings, eh?

LA & North Carolina

My father was back from the States and he brought with him Ralph Lauren goodies! Oh, how wonderful! If only I was there too.
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He bought me a bag, one which I have coveted for a long time. Too bad it's the only piece left, I had another one in my mind, oh well, nevermind, I can save that for my Christmas present next time. In fact, as soon as I have the time, I will do a post on things I want to get.
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The bag was going for a huge discount, there's why he bought it. Thank god for end-season sales. -
He bought some polos from the outlet at Beverly Hills. I guess it's pretty certain that the store at Beverly Hills targets high-end customers. The clothes are not cheap at all, and all the bags are made of leather.
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It's just so lucky my father got that last piece in North Carolina.

He also got pins from Hard Rock cafe at Los Angeles and Hollywood. Sighs, now I really want to go there on top of going to Orlando.

I guess within the first few years of my career, I will take vacations as long as I can afford them. This goal means that I've to work extra hard and save. But, I think it's worth it, to do something that I like, for a change.

Take A Moment & Ponder

"Out of the frying pan, and into the fire"

I think it is an apt description to what I'm in for. Each time I tell myself that today will be different, it just ends up the same, with me being irritated by the kids.

It's not that I even like the job, to be frank. I'll do my work and I get paid, that's a good combination.

Anyway, I keep telling myself that this week will be the last I see of them before I go for an "extended vacation". In some ways, I am thrilled to drop what I am doing now and embark on a new journey, a "real" job, some may say.

On the other hand, like that idiom suggests, it's not as if I'm really in for something big. It's a graded job with me being kept on my toes all the time. I really hope to be at least happy in it.

Now that I'll be gone, I won't say I'll miss those ickle children. I don't necessary like my position now because they keep asking me for help and what not. I don't think I am up to the job of being a patient person.

Due to this week being my last week working during the weekdays, I will try to be extra tolerant and giving. They always say, be at your best when it's your last. Sighs. However, I've signed myself up for Saturdays and you know that Saturdays are always the worst.

Why? It is because that is almost no ending time. At least on weekdays, by 10 plus, we'll be packing and getting ready to leave. But on Saturdays, if there are other matters to do, it means we have to stay back, unless I pull a fast one and balk. Obviously, I can't do that everytime. It makes my credibility go down and god know that I'm extremely pliant, most of the time.

My feelings on this? It's mixed, to be sure. I love the idea of not reporting to this job but it just means I have to report on the other job. I'm not happy, just numb, like always.

We do not exist for ourselves. When we are young, we exist for school, it is all for the future, they say. If you want to be successful when you grow up, you have to slave in school.

When that future comes along, you exist purely for work; your boss and your company. You slave even more, towards that bright light at the end of the tunnel. You want material things in life to make your future substantial.

There's almost no time to relax, to take a step back and exclaimed, this is not what I want.

But, I guess what is even more frightening is to really find out that what you are doing for, it's all for naught. Perhaps, you have seen the light and decided that worldly things don't matter anymore. Perhaps, it's better late than never.

But to start over, it's just plain discouraging and taxing.

Last Paper, Last Hurrah

So, I finally finished my examinations. It seems like a long time but in actual fact, there are only 2 papers.

Event Management was fairly alright, I guess. I had some regrets but I believed I did my best and the ball is not in court anymore. I just hope that my A is still being maintained.

I can't believed that he didn't put one single question on Youth Olympics at all! I thought that will surely come out but looks like I underestimated him. Oh well.

The questions weren't exactly that tough but I kind of forgot some factors. But, I think I can still do well. Fingers crossed.

Now, the time is mine to spend as I like, however, I am sort of afraid that I won't be able to accomplish what I told myself I have to do. I only have 6 days left before my last hurrah is gone. I want to go out with a bang but it's going to be more or less, a candle being snuffled by the wind.

I'm truly scared about what my internship will bring. Everything is so uncertain and shaky. I want so much but am so frightened by the prospect of things not going smoothly for me. There is so much apprehension and feelings.

Common Sense is Overrated

I'll tell you why. This is because if everyone have common sense, the world will be a much better place.

Anyway, back to my topic, Event Management is sort of based on common sense, at least that is what I think. However, if my common sense is as good as it seems, I'll do well in this exam. Let's hope so. Let's hope my common sense will not abandon me for that 2 hours.

Like I said before, when you are facing with Death, you won't be afraid, unless you are not really meant to die. I am truly afraid, because I've such high expectations for it.

But, come to think of it, it's not that high an expectation, I've 70% secured with an A, this exam is 30%. It's a no-brainer that I can do well, but I don't just want to do well, I want to do very well and get an A for my overall grade.

I need it like I need air. If there is a miracle, I will get all As again for this semester. Oh, if wishing make it so.

I've tried my best, truly I did. I made some mistakes in the past and I hope to have learnt from it. I did what I can to remedy it. I even do some research on potential events that the lecturer can ask.

All I want is an A for my Event Management, is that so much to ask?

All These Talking

What is wrong with me?! Goodness, I realised I have a penchant for masochism. No, no, no! It is so dumb, why did I like last-minute study so much? At least, I think so. Because I can't bring myself to start early.

Anyway, I will be free once Monday comes along. Then, it will be my last Hurrah before I turned myself in. *Gasp* I can't believe I am comparing going for internship like being married or going to jail.

Let me just enjoy my last days as a free person.

So, there has been a highly controversial act going on. If you don't know what it is, then you are living under a rock all this while. It has resulted in much backlash and fear from the world as we are living in these trying times.

2010, so many years of civilisation and yet, we still can't seem to get out of ancient pettiness and feuds. Perhaps, it is made worse by technological advancements and the "I-am-better-than-you" syndrome.

It's so silly that we are taking two steps forward and one step backward. It just makes us enter a period of slow-moving advancement in terms of softer aspects.

Oh well, I'm not going to comment on anything to do with religion and what not, because it's becoming too controversial and sensitive a topic to even talk about.

Tough Cookie

Well, I guessed yesterday's Managerial Accounting 1 paper was fine. I reached school at around 7.30am because I hitched a ride with my father as he was leaving for the States.

I just spent the next two hours revising again and again. Truth be told, I was preparing for the worse. I'm that afraid.

However, just like I said, when you are facing with Death, the feeling will be different. I think I managed to do quite alright. Maybe, there will be a chance to get an A?

Now, there's Event Management left. Oh boy, it's another tough cookie and I've yet to start revising, again. What's the matter with me?!

Facing with Death

Argh! I don't think I'm ready for Managerial Accounting 1 paper tomorrow! How?!!!! If only I could make it all better...

It's killing me, it doesn't make sense at all! I feeling so apprehensive over it! I guess the older you get, the harder it is to watch yourself fall. In the past, if I really didn't do well, that's just it. I'll probably cry over it.

Now, if I get back my results with a blemish, after so long, I don't know what I'll do. I have to get on with life, non? It will be a lesson well learnt.

Will it be better for me if I lower my expectations a little? I mean, with 50% secured with an A, I just have to about 70 marks for my paper to still get a B+. Oh gods, this is bad, really bad.

There is less than 24 hours to go, and I'm sure that I make through this alive.
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I just have to deal with it, right? If it's meant to be, it will be.
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We're all afraid of dying, but when you are facing with Death, I reckon the feelings will be different. Afterall, you are already on the shore. It's not Death we're of, it's the path going there, the pain, the sorrow, the fear of unknown that results in all these. Like Dumbledore said, death is but another journey.

We'll see what I post tomorrow. The ball is no longer in my court and I could only pray for luck and help.

Feels like the First

"Everytime feels like the first time"
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I realised that my previous entries are really angst-y.

Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the internship now, because I've sort of lose steam over it. I've pretty much speak what I want to.

Examinations! I hate them with a passion. I know, it's not a doubt that I prefer exams over projects because I can have a greater control over them. Even though it has been close to 13 years of taking exams, each time still feels like the first time.

I hate them now! I feel as if I'm been spoilt over time. Thinking back, I truly wonder how I make it through secondary school. Look, I mean, we had like 7 subjects back then, all of which required memorising and theoretical stuff.

Now, I only have to deal with 2 examinations, which is pretty much common sense, although, Managerial Accounting 1 is going to cost me. I can't believe I am thinking unsavoury thoughts about alternate endings.

I am consoling myself what if I didn't make that ace. What if? There will be no one to disappoint but myself.

I really wanted to learn my lesson and start early, but why, I failed myself! Once again, I found myself stuck. I didn't mean for it to happen! If I can but to remedy this, I promise I'll do it right.

I am so worried over Managerial Accounting 1 and Event Management. MA1 is really difficult for me, I can learn all I could from the notes, but the exam never fails to add in some stupid questions to twist my mind.

I stink at equations and numbers, really I do. It get worse when the questions are not that straightforward.

Why?! The teachers aren't doing a good job if it means that us students can't do the questions. What is the use of the lectures when all they gave us are easy sums and suddenly, wham! they came up with mind-boggling questions for exam?

Oh gods, please just let me safely pass through this difficult period, it's just 2 papers, for goodness sake! It is preposterous to think that I can't even handle two papers when I had managed to do more than 7 in the past.

Gotta Fly Once

Does it make me a lesser being the way I act with the idea of internship, particularly under this circumstance? I don't think so. Just like how it doesn't make one a greater person by being so accepting and thrilled.

There is, ultimately, only one path to go. If I have to be dragged, kicking and screaming into this insanity, I might as well feed my inner-self. As least one of us will be happier. Oh, I can be very accepting and supportive, this is just not the right situation.

I have done some soul-searching and have came up with this conclusion. In fact, I'm not upset over the general thought of internship, because I know it's a rite of passage that I've no choice but to go along. It's the mere thought of being exploited in a first-world country that makes me fumed.

I am toying with the idea on writing to someone, somewhere about whether all these are justify. Even if it doesn't help, hey, at least I know a bit of the law, right? And I will know that under what kind of circumstances I can draw a line at.

All I wanted was to better understand my rights as an employee, even though I'm actually an intern.

What a load of crap! Ok, I am still going to work during Saturdays, in my part-time job. I guess I'm eating my words now, because once upon a time, I ranted about quitting once September rolls in. Sighs, I am certainly not being forced or coerced into this.

I just thought that I should continue, afterall the job is very flexible, and I can treat it as a form of supplement to my measly pay.

You know what? All these just makes me more determined to make that trip to USA as a form of reward for all the crap I put up with this 3 years. I mean, if I have to do all these, I should have a form of "carrot", non? I hope to concrete my plans once the year ends.

Oh boy, Year 2010 kind of stings, me thinks.

The only way I'm calling it quits is when the end is nigh. I think, that's when nobody will care whether it reflects good on them or affect their goals. Now's that when I'll say "take your job and shove it".

Limbo of the Working Class

"My way or the highway"

Ha! I did some background check and found out that interns in Singapore are covered under the Employment Law. So, we too are entitled rights. What I need now is advice from a lawyer.

So, basically, once interns hit the 44 hours per week mark, employers are liable to pay us overtime. Seeing that my hours per week hit a whooping high of 50 hours per week, they better do so. Should they fail to do that, it means that I am in a position to bring this issue to the Liaison Officer, right?

I mean, I most certainly didn't sign any stupid contracts with fine print saying that I will sell my soul to the company.

For gods sake, I did a check on the average working hours per week in Singapore and around the world, Singaporeans still clocked in higher-than-average working hours than others. Normally, Singaporeans hit the 40 hours per week.

Well, I guess at least we get paid while getting tortured. And it's a good thing I am not in the hotel industry, they have shift work and some work for more than 12 hours. Are you freaking kidding me?! Never, I rather stick with office work.

They literally have us stuck between a wall and a cliff. It's my way or the highway, to put it bluntly. We couldn't say no to the Polytechnic, right? And once the company have been decided for you, you can't change it.

We are not given any choice in the matter at all. Unless, you count that pathetic excuse of self-secure. *roll eyes*

Whatever happen to the calm and poised approach I wanted? I thought that since this is something I have to go through anyway, I will be more open-minded. But, no, seems like I still freak out over it.

Sighs, whatever happen to my wishes? I am destined to get stuck in this limbo of the working class for as long as I live. Unless, a miracle happens.

Anyway, I'm not going to think so much, because whenever I think too much, everything just turn for the worse.

I'm not determined to hate it when I haven't even experience it. I am just writing what I feel and think. Let me pass my judgement on Judgement Day.

I still can't believe I am not even worth $2.20 per hour! Gosh, am I worse than say a typical construction worker? My mother's company certainly pay their foreign workers better.

Consequences Be Damned

They treat us like vermin, sir"

If there are no consequences, or better still, consequences be damned, would I still go ahead with all these? You bet not.

I finally know where I got posted to for my internship. It just have to be in Ubi, out of all the places. And the pay just has to be the minimum, a measly amount of $440 a month. Here is the "best" part, the hours are from 9.00am to 7.00pm.

So, what it means is, I am not even worth $2.20 per hour. Eh, I have double the pay for every hour I work in my part-time job, alright?

Now, now, the definition of internship is to gain experience without pay. I know that in the States and other countries, internship literally means no pay at all. So, in a masochistic way, I suppose I should be grateful that I even have a pay at all.

But, they can't treat us like cheap labour! This is like exploitation in a first-world country. What? They treat us no better than second-rate citizens! This is outrageous!

I don't know. For me, internship is just another pesky aspect of school that I have to get through. I don't necessary like, but nothing can be done. I might as well give in my best, which I have to anyway, because I am not going to mess up my plans.

I didn't exactly sign myself up for all these, OK? Between 2 choices, people usually choose the one they like. For me, since I don't like anything, I just have to choose the one I can tolerant better than the other. See the difference?

That being said, I didn't sign myself up for this course and what not because I like it, it's just because I have a higher tolerance level for this rather then another course.

I am having a break-down here. I'm freaking out, so as to speak. I don't know if I can do this well. It's freaking 8 CUs, and I have to get the Pass with Commendation. I just have to. Oh gods. And I don't think I'm ready for the real world, not yet.

It's all too overwhelming. Suddenly, I don't want to grow up, I rather pick school over work any other day. That is for certain. Unlike others, I don't see working as an escape, it is a prison, where you will get stuck for the rest of your life.

I already know what I like and dislike. In a sense, I don't need a reality check. In fact, what those lecturers said don't include me. I don't want this, get it? I see it as a chore I have to do.

However, I guess they are right about one thing. It's only 11 weeks, it will pass very soon. I have endured nearly 2 years in the Poly, haven't I? What's another 11 weeks? Well, for one, it stinks big time.

I have to do my best and hope for the best. Hey, in fact, give me all the mundane tasks, I welcome those. I really wish for a good working environment.

So, I will have to cross the bridge when the time comes and I will be back among the living in December. Oh dear, December seems so faraway.

Goodbye to holidays~