Plan C

Crap! I just found out that I screwed something up. It is seriously depressing. I just realised that I left out the checklist when I was submitting the supporting documents to NUS.

All these time, I was only following what the NUS application guide brochure said. It was only today, when I looking through the website that I realised it. It's like a month too late. My mood fell immediately. Will I get a penalty for not doing that? Will it affect my application? NUS is my top choice! What will I do if this application falls through because of such a stupid mistake?!

I emailed the University and hopefully, they will give some good advice. I know, it's too late to make amendments. If anything untoward was to happen, then it is my fault.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Things have been wrong and I am getting so jittery nowadays. So what if I get a Diploma with Merit? It cheered me up but with all the things happening now with Universities, I don't know if that will be of any help.

I am thinking of worst-case scenarios if my worst nightmares come true and find myself in some parallel universe. Say I did not get in this year, what will I do? I will need to look for a job, go for a vacation, take up driving lessons and maybe do community work to boost my credentials. I will try again next year for Universities and this time, I will register for SIM too. There, it's only 1 year, one freaking year wasted.

I will look ridiculous, won't I? People have been telling me that with such grades, I should have no problem getting into a local University. Now that I have a Diploma with Merit and on the Honours List for being top 10%, it should boost my chances. But, why am I still so afraid and worried?

I have such fears and worries that I am too confident of my chances. Why can't I be satisfy like some people? Why did I have the thinking that a degree will lead to better opportunities in life? I am going crazy soon.

Freaked Out

I'm officially disturbed by SMU application. List 3 CCAs you considered to be important to you, what the crap, I only have 1 in secondary school. Anyway, I managed to squeeze out 3 for myself. One as a member, one as a committee member and the other for community service. Thank goodness the teacher elected me as a committee member.

I have finally applied to SMU although I have yet to send out the supporting documents.

I'm so jittery now. For one, I am freaked out by the mere thought of interviews in NTU and SMU. For that alone, I am determined to enter NUS. I know, pretty silly of me, but what can I say? After the interviews, I will be freaked out whether I'd screwed them up. I will sort of rest easy when the time for joint online acceptance comes.

Then, I will be worrying about the horrors of orientation. Gods, I sure have lots of things to worry about. And I entertained the thought of how carefree I'll be if I do not have such ambitions.

You know, if I have not done well the first semester and subsequently, just breezed through the rest of the semesters with Bs and Cs, I wonder if I will ever think about going to a local University which resulted in all these worries.

If only I can be contented with a part-time job and work full-time without a degree. If only in my dreams. I can't, that's not who I want to be. I want to have at least a degree. It is a common perception that having a degree will result in more opportunities in life.

I admire those people who have the means and will-power to drop everything they have in Singapore and leave for an overseas University. Afterall, it has been a dream of mine to study overseas until recently.

Ok, let's tackled things one by one. Interviews first and then the rest. I just need some time to breathe and conjure up politically-correct answers.

I need to have choices, damn it. That being said, please, let it not be just SMU which will accept me. I know I should be pleased to have a place, but I don't want to have to choose between SMU and nothing.

I have forgotten to mention about one very important aspect. Additional Mathematics. Yes, the bane of existence in secondary school. SMU and NTU requires one to have a good pass in A Maths, are you kidding me?! I don't even know if my C5 grade is acceptable. I can't go through an entrance exam in A Maths, I will just give up and walk away. Not after so many years of putting the misery behind me...

I am proud of my A Maths grade. It took me huge effort to get from F9 to C5. But, heck no, I am not going through the torture again. I'll take up tuition if I have to, but please, not an exam on A Maths. Not now.

Rude Awakening

I've been living my bubble of peace these past weeks. Therefore, it's a rude awakening for me when I realised one of my friends went for interviews for NTU and SMU. Already?!

As you probably will know, this bought me tumbling back to the ground. I have been dreading the news since I knew that there will be interviews. I know that I can't escape interviews in this lifetime. But, somehow, I just have this aversion and phobia for it.

I blushed terribly. This is what I am afraid of. And that I'll make a fool out of myself. There, I said it. My fear is so simple and yet profound. If I go to a counselor to voice my fears, their advice would perhaps be "don't worry, they don't know you anymore than you know them" or something else. The truth is, I know all these. I know the theoretical parts, but I just can't apply it to real life.

Sigh. I don't know what I will do. Of course I want the Universities to contact me, it will be a step towards gaining acceptance. But, on the other hand, I am so scared and worried that I would not do well. Seriously.

People will probably say there is nothing to worry about and it's very normal. I am not a normal person. Nevertheless, since there is no escape, I will just have to make the lines as I go along. I am good at that, no? It will give me a heart attack and makes me hyperventilate but if the results is good, then I have conquered.

Silver Lining

Now that I have time to cool off and take a closer look at my grades. I can see that they aren’t that bad. Of course, I am not as happy as I ought to be.

Managerial Accounting 2: B+

It’s a well-deserved grade because I remembered the horror when I received the 50% coursework of C+. After calculations, I realised that I need to score at least 80 marks in the exam to push the grade to a B+ and I did it.

Legal Aspects of Business: B+

Again, I had a B+ for 50% coursework. I could have had an A but due to complications in the group project which I underestimated big time. So, this is a grade I can live with.

International Business: B+

I only know one component which is 20% of the overall grade. I received a B for mid-semester test.

Given the lack of understanding of the project specifications and low confidence levels of scoring, I must say we did a pretty good job. In one of my previous posts, I stated that I was the one who interpreted the problem and did most of the researching. So, kudos to me! Like I said, I deserve this grade. If I can get an A, it would be the best.

Practice of Entrepreneurship: A

The only A this semester. Thankfully, this subject did not let me down. I felt that the project was good and I had confidence in this subject. Therefore, it is brilliant to see the fruits of my labour.

Student Internship Programme: Pass

Big letdown here. I am still reeling from the shock that I failed to score a “Pass with Commendation”. How is that even possible? I work my a*** off to get a good appraisal and in the end, I was dealt with a huge blow from my liaison officer.

The most crucial aspect in this whole drama is the cumulative GPA.

Semester 3.2’s GPA is the second-worst in the 6 semesters with a point of 3.63. In the end, there is only a 0.01 drop in my CGPA which is the silver lining in these dark clouds. My overall CGPA of 3.75 is still within the range to get acceptance into local Universities. Phew, after all these hardships, isn’t this the most important goal?

So, fingers-crossed that I will acceptance to all three Universities and give me the choice to choose.

The Curse of B+

Bloody hell! This is a bummer! What the crap! It was the worst semester ever!

My goal is to get 3As and 1 B+ and in the end, all I got were 3 lousy B+ and 1 freaking A! 1 freaking A!

This is disastrous! How am I going to qualify to a local University with such grades?! This will completely pull down my GPA!

I won't be truthful if I say I aren't upset. I am really not happy with this. At least there should be another A to counter the curse of B+. Seriously. My semester 3.2 GPA falls to a all-time low of 3.63. Are you kidding me?!

Come to think of it, remember the previous month when I got a D and C+ for some components? My goal then was to pull the subjects up to B+ and that was met. So why am I not happy?

Since when did I move my goal up to As?

It's not just about passing. It's not even in my agenda to get Bs. Sobs. I am not pleased at all with this development.

Bummer

It's the third week of the holidays and what have I been doing? Surprisingly, I did not suffer from withdrawal symptoms which arise from the transaction of "very busy" to nothing to do.

Most of the time, I just laze around, doing nothing except going online. But since the start of this week, I have to go to work 4 times a week which is a serious bummer. It's not like I like it in the first place. 2 times a week is alright. But 4 times, oh gods, I can't stand it!

I suppose I should be thankful. It's not like I have things to do at home and I get money, yay. I need to save up for a rainy day, even after I go for my vacation. Now, I need to beef up the bank account as much as possible. At least, I will have a substantial amount of savings to last through.

I have been watching a lot of satirical videos from Downfall parodies in which Hitler rants about everything under the sun to Monty Python and Not The Nine O'clock News. Now, I think I know the meaning behind the term "British humour". I adore it. It's delicious sarcasm.

Every morning after I woke up, I feel so lethargic and basically don't feel like using my brains. In time, my thinking powers will deplete. This means that I have to boost up the brain cells when University starts.

Look Around

Looking at all these disasters happening around the world made me realised how blessed we are in good old Singapore.

Of course, I already knew that from the beginning. Yes, I have my grouses about the country but generally, I am a proud citizen of this tiny red dot. That's why it pisses me off when there are people who not only don't appreciate what this country brings for us but go on and on with all sorts of demands. Really? Please, look around you before opening that mouth.

Some people just aren't content. With clothes on their backs, a house to return to, jobs waiting for you and all that jazz, some people just want more. That does not necessary mean that I don't want more. On the contrary, I have big dreams and worldly demands just like anybody.

Celebration of Learning 2011

Celebration of Learning marks the end of the 3 years in Poly.

Today, each of us was given a rose and received our SIP certificate to certify that one had completed the internship.

It was our last chance to take photos as a class and with teachers. Alas, I didn't manage to take a group photo with my project group mates. Hopefully, we can do that during graduation. I'm glad I stayed for a while to take pictures with some lecturers who taught me before. I am a very sentimental person who is nostalgic. Too nostalgic for my own good.

I also took pictures of the Director's Honours List AY2009/2010 board as my name was on it. Yes, it was one of the proudest moments of my school life. One of the few times I actually got recognised.

I, too, signed on as a alumni. No harm doing that, I figured.

All in all, it was a good event, too bad on the photos. Looking at the school, I realised that I have many fond memories. Projects and exams get on me, but seeing the results, it is almost worth it. Sighs, and now it's over.

Graduation next.

The King's Speech movie review

 

Finally, I went to watch The King's Speech with my cousin today. It is worth the hype and meets my expectations. Colin Firth, in particular, truly deserves his Oscar after his absolutely poignant performance as the stuttering King George IV.

While the film is portrayed to be light-hearted most of the times, there are moments where it is quite emotionally compelling. I mean, I empathise people who have problems speaking to the public. While I don't stammer, I blushed terribly every single time I had to do a presentation.

Tom Hooper did great as a director and the story-telling is wonderful. While slow at times, the gradual change in the king's speech is very real. Some called it a feel-good movie.

Does the movie deserves the Best Picture Award? Why not? The actors' exceptional performances are what make this film a success. The banter between Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth shows their chemistry and I have to say, Geoffrey Rush's portrayal of the "eccentric" Lionel Logue is delightful.

The score by Alexandre Desplat is awesome as well. I enjoyed myself tremedulously and this film is a keeper.

Over & Out

Exams are over and I'm out of school!

Phew, the relief I felt after the Legal Aspects of Business paper ended was indescribable. That feeling of high tension I put myself through to keep my pace was gone as soon as the clock stroke 4.30pm.

It wasn't the difficult paper I envisioned and I finished it with time to spare. I found it doable, just like Managerial Account 2.

Now, eyes will be on my final grades for the semester, which will either make or break my cumulative GPA. For studies, I have never wanted something more than I want my GPA to reflect my hard work. Seriously, I have put in so much effort and sheer hard work this 3 years, and I don't want it to all go to naught just because of one lousy semester.

So, after the paper, my group and I went down to Timbre at Clarke Quay to celebrate. I have never been to that part before so it was truly an experience. Since we reached at about 6pm, we were their first customers.

My friend ordered a Margarita and I drank 2 sips. It was not bad, except that I like it better when the ice melted. We left before the live band started.

And that day was officially the last day of the Poly life. I can't say whether I am sad to leave because I am still not recovering from the "high" that is holidays.

I have push myself really hard these past weeks, even going into computer-celibacy. I never have chance for leisure reading and I cut down on time spent online during the exam season. During projects, all I did was surfed the net for related subjects.

I expect that withdrawal symptoms will kick in soon.

One thing I hope to get fulfil before University starts is to, of course, go for a vacation in the States. Really, really, please. I want to do something for myself once. I need a fairy godmother.