Liberation

Yahoooo! The deed is done! It's finally over! Never have I feel so liberated! This will be the one and only post to commemorate this day.

The comprehension was bad enough. I realised what photo caption is after the whole thing was over. What the crap? I don't want to think of it anymore.

The essay was another bad idea. The question I chose was "In this day and age of media, words are arguably louder than words. How far do you agree with this?" Hmmm, as I wrote, I felt slight amused and horrified at the direction I was going. I was freaking writing about politics in that essay!

I wrote about how politicians and governments post their ideas on social media sites and people will believe these without looking at the bigger picture. But ultimately, actions are always louder than words. The examples I gave was Singapore own political scene and USA presidency campaign period.

Woow, I can't believe I wrote that. Gods, I feel so weird out.

By then, my neck muscles were straining under the pressure. Thankfully, the interview was next. I finally realised how lucky I was. Imagine having to wait till 9pm for your interview!

The interview was in groups of eight. The article they gave us for reading was about gap year for University students. Some of the questions the interviewers posted are "In your case, do you think gap year is a good idea?" and "If you are the Dean of the Business School, would you choose between a student who has taken a gap year for travelling purposes or the one who took a gap year and work?"

I said that gap year is a good idea if you have the money to travel. And that I would choose the person who work during his gap year because he would have gain much experience and skills needed in the business world. Besides, the transaction between work and study can be quite different, and since he is determined, he should be given a chance.

OK, so I didn't exactly state it that way. I was less coherent than what I typed. I just can't think on the spot! Just like how I can't get my mind off politics.

I'm extremely glad it's over! It was more intimidating than I thought but I think I held out quite well. Well, except for the thundering of my heart when I was preparing to speak. I can literally hear my heart thumping in the quietness of the room.

Do I want to do it again? Heck no!

Fear Factor

Enough have been said on the issue. I know I should stop, but after today, I can be sure that I have conquer my fear.

There are butterflies in my stomach. I'm not as apprehensive for the test as compared to the group interview. Firstly, I am scared to make a fool out of myself. Secondly, I am not exactly a coherent person, I can't seem to think on the spot. And I always regret it when the whole thing is over.

In just a few hours time, I have to face one of my greatest fears, but no pressure. It is not a graded coursework. I won't have to see how badly I did for the English test. I don't even reckon I will see any of them again, with any luck.

It will only set to traumatise me, but no lasting damage will be done. When I am returning home after this, I will probably chastised myself for not answering properly. I will be disgusted by my atrocious spelling.

I don't need to have powers to foresee the future. I already know what the results will be.

Shivers

I'm going to lay bare my thoughts of what I think of this whole mess.

I will be really flattered if I received an offer from SMU, after the interview and test that is tomorrow. I would have literally hit the bull's eye thrice in a row! How many people can boast that they receive 3 offers from 3 Universities with a Diploma?

But if I didn't, well, it is good for me because then I don't have to choose. I have my sight set on NTU Arts and Social Sciences and it is SMU Business holding me back. Of course, I admit I will be slightly disappointed that I fail to perform during the interview and test but, who cares? It's their loss if they think I am not good enough for them. The chance of me choosing them is small too. Let's not call this a case of "sour grapes".

I can't wait for tomorrow's nightmare to be over. Anyway, the English test will be a good indication of my English standard, for myself to know more so than others.

If I can wash out my brains, trust me, I will. If there is a way to cleanly forget about tomorrow's deal, I will. Oh, how I wish I can just get through it! I don't want to think of the 'have-beens' during the journey home.

Jeepers

Yikes, the days passed too soon! Wednesday will be here and I have to face one of my greatest fears - interview.

For all the prep-talk in the world, needless to say, I will still freak out. I'm not desperate for SMU offer, for starters. Therefore, there is nothing to lose. So be it, if I screwed it up. I don't even care for the English test.

Furthermore, I have gone through Oral examination in my primary and secondary schools years. It should be more or less the same. Funny thing was, I was never this scared when I had the Oral exams. True, I will stumble during the discussions, but it was never this tough for me. Weird.

I am really scared to death here. I can only comfort myself knowing that I don't know the other interviewees and interviewers. If I made a fool out of myself, I just have to bear with it.

Grrr.

Three times the Charm?

"Too much of a blessing does not necessary mean a good thing"

Oh gods, I just received a phone call from SMU saying that I have been shortlisted for their Business Management course. The interview and English test is scheduled next Wednesday in the evening.

The problem is, I don't even know if I want to do Business anymore. Furthermore, SMU is not my choice of University.

Now that I have 3 Universities offering me courses, each a different one, this is definitely a dilemma. NUS will be my best bet. NTU Economics is out. As for SMU, well, the course offered is my first choice but do I want to do accounting again? Do I even want to be there?

Anyway, I will go for the interview, if I screwed it up, then it will be fine. All the more I will choose NUS. If I managed to score an offer, well, that's another tale for another day.

One is my second choice in the University I like the best. The other is my first choice in the University l like the least. The problem is should I go for something new or do maths again?

It is better if I did not receive the lousy phonecall at all. Sighs. I have already made up my mind to go into NUS. I know there are a lot of people who want a place in SMU, but given that, I think I should make an out-of-the-box choice.

A few weeks ago I was thinking unsavoury thoughts about what would I do if no Universities were to contact me. Then, NUS came with a salvation. Although it is not my first choice, there was something. I am thrilled. I almost made up my mind.

Few days later, NTU came with an offer of Economics, also my second choice. I would have jump at that months ago if I had not been enlightened. I want to minimise the risk of taking calculus again.

The last surprise is today, when I received that phonecall. It does not mean that I am offered a place, it's just shortlisted for an interview. Now I am more shell-shocked than pleased.

Interviews are not my thing. But I will go through them because there is no choice. My problem with SMU is partly because of this, and that I don't see what the big deal is. Everyone sings the praise of SMU but the way they conduct the classes don't appeal to me. And I had a hard time convincing myself that I don't need to go through calculus or Maths again. Am I quite naive to think that way?

I shouldn't say too much, eh? Else I would put my foot in my mouth if I choose SMU.

Rude Awakening

I've been living my bubble of peace these past weeks. Therefore, it's a rude awakening for me when I realised one of my friends went for interviews for NTU and SMU. Already?!

As you probably will know, this bought me tumbling back to the ground. I have been dreading the news since I knew that there will be interviews. I know that I can't escape interviews in this lifetime. But, somehow, I just have this aversion and phobia for it.

I blushed terribly. This is what I am afraid of. And that I'll make a fool out of myself. There, I said it. My fear is so simple and yet profound. If I go to a counselor to voice my fears, their advice would perhaps be "don't worry, they don't know you anymore than you know them" or something else. The truth is, I know all these. I know the theoretical parts, but I just can't apply it to real life.

Sigh. I don't know what I will do. Of course I want the Universities to contact me, it will be a step towards gaining acceptance. But, on the other hand, I am so scared and worried that I would not do well. Seriously.

People will probably say there is nothing to worry about and it's very normal. I am not a normal person. Nevertheless, since there is no escape, I will just have to make the lines as I go along. I am good at that, no? It will give me a heart attack and makes me hyperventilate but if the results is good, then I have conquered.

The Last Hurrah

It's time to let your hair down and ho-li-day!

Everything is done, the holidays are here! Hurray!

Yesterday's interview role-play was alright, I guess. All the questions I prepared didn't come out, though I did make use of some of the answers I prepared beforehand. Yes, I already said I'm pathetic. Guess I didn't make a fool out of myself. Whatever, I don't want to think about it anymore.

I can hardly believe I stayed in school for some many hours after the interview and for what? A 5 minutes World Issues quiz. Out of 5 questions, I have 2 that I answered wrongly?

Gosh, things speed up in the last few weeks of school, I can't wait for it to be over and then, poof! it's time to say goodbye to semester 2.2. I'll miss my friends, luckily, we are not changing classes for semester 3.1.

Lunar New Year is here and I'm pretty excited! No matter what I declared in the past. Why, why am I working today, huh?

My manicured nails are beautiful, even I said so myself. It's a nude pink with silver tips. I tried to do the same effects on my toes but the outcome wasn't that good. Sighs...

Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief is a must-watch this CNY! I can't wait for to watch it. It's been years since I read the first book and I remembered thinking how nice it would be if there is a movie made. I'm so going to book tickets today for Monday's show.

Just hoping that there are still good seats available.

Gone with the wind

Ahhh, this feeling of weirdness inside me.

The semester will end on Thursday, after the interview role-play and quiz. On one hand, I'm very glad that the term will end very soon. On the other hand, I will miss this semester.

I don't know, unlike other semesters, this has got to be the best and the worst. It is like a love/hate relationship, non?

The team dynamics have been more than great but the stress levels I felt is way too high. I wouldn't want to say I miss what I experienced because I'm happy to get rid of it. I have had fun this semester and it makes me nostalgic.

I feel "off" this semester, like I'm too strung-up, or is that my New Year resolution taking place?

I'm grateful and fortunate to get pretty good and approachable tutors/lecturers. Or perhaps, I am a little bias in this aspect since they have been good with our projects and grades. I can only hope that my remaining semesters teachers will be as well as them.

Suddenly, it seems I'm thrust into the big, wide world. All those late nights mugging for projects and more projects, then, all of a sudden, I'm free! The feeling is strange. I have so much time on my hands.

Ha, those extra effort out into projects are going to be worth it. The tutors seem kind of impressed with what we have. All I know is that SME will give me an A, well, unless they moderate the marks. I'll scream if I get a Z.

I don't want to speculate much before the results. Lest I jinx it. Oh, the agony, to have to wait about one month before I can get the grades for this semester. At least 4 As, with my fingers crossed.

I'll be making the most of my holidays. I plan to start water-painting and doing my countdown clock. But, right now, I just want to relax and clear my brain. And my brain is dead, indeed. I can't think or wish to do anything at this moment.

I have strong wishes to go on a vacation... However, it is falling short. Still, I will hold on to that hope.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner. As much as I said that I felt no spirits for it, after shopping and going out on Saturday, I felt so much better. I can hardly wait for it! New clothes, hanging out with family, maybe for a movie or two, who doesn't like that?

Finger crossed for my interview.