A Galore

I've been thinking up a perfect title to match my results for Semester 3.1. I've been harbouring hopes of pulling off another miracle this time round.

I didn't manage to sign up for the SMS service for the results and had to wait until 12 plus before the results are updated online.

Guess what? It's A galore indeed. I'm so happy, actually. But somehow, my mood just don't pick up. I guess I'm really feeling blue. Alas, my otherwise perfect score is marred by a blemish that starts with the letter B.

Product Development & Innovation, oh, how I hate thee! I knew the subject was bad news from the start. I just knew it because I know we couldn't pull this off. I had my doubts from the beginning. There were so many aspects that I just don't feel good about.

Let's do a recap for the grades of each subject.

Event Management - Distinction. I can't contain my glee when I saw that I have a distinction for it! It's really a big surprise for me.

I thought I had some regrets regarding the exam and the group project but I'm so glad the teacher actually liked it. I guess he's not so bad afterall.

Special Interest Tourism - Distinction. My hope from the start, it's good that it didn't let me down. I have a good feeling for this subject despite some reservations from the start.

After the group project presentation, I knew that we clinched the deal because, pardon me, I think ours is the most well-done in the class.

Managerial Accounting 1 - A. Phew. I managed to score an A. I was lowering my expectations to a B+ days before the main examination because I was so worried.

Strategic Entrepreneurship - A. This is the subject that we worked so hard on and to please the weird lecturer. I'm happy that we managed to please him.

Product Development & Innovation - B. I should have see this coming. It's actually a little surprise that I scored this grade. Oh well, what is done is done. It's a freckle that can't be erased.

I don't know why the CGPA isn't updated yet. Don't tell me that I'm stuck at this CGPA. But it can't be, there should be changes.

I've one last shot at graduating with honours and I'll be damned if I don't get it. I will give semester 3.2 my best shot if only I have the higher powers on my side. Please do not let there be any class changes. Not at this critical moment.

SIT Exam & Sentiments

What a heck of a ride!

Phew, I am glad that I went through it alive, more or less. I am certain that my brain cells died, a lot, and of course, my spirits.

Semester 3.1 is a killer term. I never saw this coming.

Hmmm, today's SIT exam, how should I put it? I am speechless and I think I required therapy to get over it.

It's not difficult, as per say. But, you know me, I didn't finish studying till the last minute. I swear I won't do that again. It's hard, so hard to remember everything.

The test is very lengthy. There are so many things to write and I ran out of time. Damn you all! I can't believe my mind went blank at the crucial question! I just sort of gave up when I realised the time I lacked.

No, no, I don't think I won't do well. But, the ball is not in my court now, all eyes will be on the teacher's decisions. Please, I really need that A, I still harbour hopes that I can get that A.

The questions asked are not exactly common sense, there are some which requires pure memorise work. I think I did fairly well, I just hope that the points I gave fit.

1 hour and 50 minutes is not enough! I scribbled my way on the second hour and thought that I will still have time. I should have done the case-study questions first! The problem is that I spent too long on the short-answer questions.

Sighs, the term is almost over and I thank god for it. Any longer and I can just go bang my head. It's too much, I can't take it. I really need a getaway to escape from reality.

Who will sponsor me for a getaway? Nobody but myself. If I have the means, I will surely go for a nice little retreat. This is what I plan to do when I start working proper. So, saving is the top priority.

Now, now, I keep putting off things for "Destination Orlando", I'll really hurl if I don't fulfil my year-long goal. I save and save, all for this trip. I must make it successfully or else... It will be a reward for all the things I have done over the years. I deserve it, don't I?

All the things I did, I did them for the greater good. So, please, don't ever disappoint me.

Semester 3.1 has been really tough. It's been a uphill battle. It's as if we are some poor soldiers with nary a weapon in our hands. The lecturers this time round have been tough too. I've witness the good, the bad and the weird. This term, they consist of the bad and weird.

I've lose hopes of getting a good lecturer.

Anywho, I won't see them again, I hope. This semester is nearly done, well, except for the exams. I'm nearly out, which I fear. There won't be another chance like this, ever. And when the time comes, I'll look back and scoff at whatever I am writing now.

I will look back with fond and not-so-fond memories and laugh in horror over these posts. Sheesh, I am getting too sentimental. I guess what I need is a good cry.

Panicky

"When I panicked, this is the time to pay no notice of me"
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No, it's not that I'm not confident. Perhaps I always panicked because I feared for the worst. What-ifs always float around in my head. What if my mind just went blank in the middle of the exam? What if I fail?
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But, I guess the point is that I have done well in the mid-semester tests, so why should I fear now? Am I adding unnecessary problems and scenarios to myself? Maybe. Truly, I am scared, anxious and my heart is palpitating.
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What's more is that the subject I fear is kind of common sense. Environmental and other problems are considered to be my area of forte. Didn't I do this again and again for Geography?
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However, I fear that common sense will desert me when I need it the most. Speaking of which, looking back, I can't believe I've come so far. How ever did I make it past the 4 years of constant mugging and memorising?
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It's a vicious cycle.
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Another problem with me is that I never learn. Humans don't ever learn, do they? I told myself again and again that I shouldn't revise at the last minute and yet everytime, I did just that. For all that is holy, this has got to stop.
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Starting from this week? The problem is that I just can't bring myself to study when I am finally free from the curse. My mind has been blissfully blank over the weekend, it is the only chance after a few consecutive weeks of torture.

In Which We Cheer & Lament

"What if being good is not enough anymore"

So, I have 2 As as of now.

It's not much, seeing it's just a small hurdle passed. But, a hurdle, no matter how small or easy, is still a hurdle passed. And if I can make a leap over that, why not? It's only going to help me pick up momentum.

I have an A for Special Interest Tourism test which a lot of people didn't do well so I was quite proud of myself. I have another A for Managerial Accounting. That paper was quite easy though. Still, at least 20% is secure with a high A.

Sometimes, I wonder if what I am pushing myself is worth everything. But, I guess it does, even if it is for myself more than others.

The desire for excellence is no longer a want, but an obligation and a need. Eyes are on me to see a tumble and I am not going to do that, not at this situation. I needed those grades.

There is only a path for me as of now and that is to do well and get As. I am literally trying to make both ends meet.

I can't believe I can't get the scholarship money from the clan association this time. It's so stupid actually. I didn't fill in the form properly, they sent it back and I sent it back after filling it. I can't believe the deadline went past!

Yes, there is nothing to do about it, but I can't help but lament the money lose. It dropped down for me and I didn't manage to catch it. It's $200+, I can do so many things with it!

I can only pretend it doesn't hurt. Next year won't be so great, would it? Let's see. Well, at least, this time, I have the DHL certificate to be content with. Just like last year I had the money to be content with. Sighs.