November Dreams

Hooray, agony October is coming to an end! The countdown can officially begin for "numb" November.

Although, I must say, with public holidays, birthdays and of course, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 all scheduled in November, I can hardly hate it. These are the only things that can make me happy.

I've kind of lose my fire over the everyday posting of the going-ons in my internship. After a while, it kind of gets old as the same old things happen over and over again.

I realise being an intern means you are pretty much a "dog". When the person throws the stick, you are supposed to run after it. Now, I don't mean it in the literal sense. I know the saying that a person will only treat you how you want to be treated. But, I am not in a position to negotiate or even voice out.

When things start to look better, things will go downhill after that. I have a new term to coin this period: zombiefied. I am not myself.

It is not just me who see this in the company. Even the newcomer can see it. The company, which supposedly dabbled in innovative and creative courses, is not so innovative and creative afterall. In fact, the system it adopts is a rigid and narrow one.

The whole system seems forced. They can't move out of their bubble although they tried. The result ends up being neither nor there.

They want to accept others' ideas but refuses to change. They have this thinking that "oh, you can go ahead and do it, I trust you". However, when you submit it, they will be like "no, you should do this, you should do that".

I mean, what is the point of giving free rein to someone only to dash it by wanting the final outcome to go your way. It's beating around the bush and they are just wasting everyone's time. You want it your way, fine. Do it yourself or just tell that from the start, for god's sake!

And the worst of them all sits at the boss seat. He is the one who started this whole "creative" and "innovative" business, but he fails in what he preaches. He can't see things beyond what he has in mind.

All I can say is, I am glad that I am a temporary staff. It's too stuffy in that sort of place.

I Know It Is Not This

"I don't know what I want, but I know it's not this"

I came across this title on a book in the library and I fell in love with it straight away. It totally conveys what I want to say.

It was pay day yesterday during my internship. Phew, 4 weeks down. After dividing the amount by 30 days and multiplying by 25, I realised I am only earning S$14 per day, from 9am to 6pm! It was astonishing, really. After subtracting off transportation fees and lunch money, I'm practically left with nothing.

No wonder my cash on hand is depleting like there is no tomorrow. On the other hand, my bank reserves can only get higher. I suppose I am nearing my plan to save enough and more for a graduation trip.

On the other end of the spectrum, since I only have taken one part-time job so far, I can only use that to compare, I am earning S$5 per hour. Not much, by any other account, that is the unofficial minimum pay.

Still, today I worked for 7 hours, which means that I've earned S$35.

Damn it, why I am working my b*** off? Oh, right, because this internship is compulsory and graded. So, that grade better be worth it because it has to be equivalent to all those cash I've lost and given away.

One more thing, what happens if your boss wants to add you on Facebook? That is exactly what my boss did. What the crap? Why is he bothering anyway?

I'm hardly going to change my life over someone unimportant. Although, if I really do add him, I will take all precautions to prevent him from knowing what I've been typing. Then again, if I ignore him, what is he to do about it? Write in my report that I refuse to be his "friend"? Creep.

Anyhoo, regardless of whether I will add him or not, I will delete him from my list once this internship ends, because our contact ends there and then.

Fodder for Bad Press

I'll start with the good news, I don't have to buy the 2,000 stamps for now. Hooray! And I've definitely learn my lesson, I'll not be bringing extra cash to work anymore. Next time they want me to buy something, I'll be saying that I don't have extra cash on me.

It's time we put our feet down at this type of workplace bullying, nevermind that they will pay us back sooner or later.

Are they kidding me? It's awfully insensitive of them to assume that our cash are at their disposal. It's also presumptuous of them to assume we will be free to follow them to some event at night.

Anyway, today, I've something else to write in my report. I'm supposed to do some kind of write-up for each of the corporate gift and they were the ones who told me that I can write what I think is right.

Then, he came to tell me that he don't like my writing and I was like, "ok, how do you want me to change?" This is what I hate about him, he did not give any constructive feedback at all. He said "I don't know, just change". I mean, what the heck, this is the way I write, you want to change, fine, at least tell me where I went wrong or something. Don't just give such a non-solid feedback.

Besides, If you don't like it, then for god's sake, you can always edit it yourself or make changes. Sure, I want to learn but you are not making it easy for me! I think he just like his own style best so he might as well write all of them himself since it looks like he can't accept others.

In the morning, when no one was in the office except the two interns, we were talking about the bad things in this company and THIS guy and how loathsome he is. The company is fodder for bad press.

There are so many things that we can't take it and the blatant way they treat us, the interns. Don't blame me for being defensive all the time because you lot aren't better yourselves.

I may tolerant this guy but I don't respect him at all. Besides, I plan of wiping the memory of them by deleting them once the 11th weeks end. It will be nothing but a nightmare.

I have no love for the company, don't worry. The only thing I want is to get my good grade and good evaluation. Once the evaluation is handed in, I'll pretend we've never met.

Once the last day rolls in, I'll throw my hands up in joy.