Thursday, March 03, 2011

The King's Speech movie review

 

Finally, I went to watch The King's Speech with my cousin today. It is worth the hype and meets my expectations. Colin Firth, in particular, truly deserves his Oscar after his absolutely poignant performance as the stuttering King George IV.

While the film is portrayed to be light-hearted most of the times, there are moments where it is quite emotionally compelling. I mean, I empathise people who have problems speaking to the public. While I don't stammer, I blushed terribly every single time I had to do a presentation.

Tom Hooper did great as a director and the story-telling is wonderful. While slow at times, the gradual change in the king's speech is very real. Some called it a feel-good movie.


Does the movie deserves the Best Picture Award? Why not? The actors' exceptional performances are what make this film a success. The banter between Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth shows their chemistry and I have to say, Geoffrey Rush's portrayal of the "eccentric" Lionel Logue is delightful.

The score by Alexandre Desplat is awesome as well. I enjoyed myself tremedulously and this film is a keeper.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Over & Out

Exams are over and I'm out of school!

Phew, the relief I felt after the Legal Aspects of Business paper ended was indescribable. That feeling of high tension I put myself through to keep my pace was gone as soon as the clock stroke 4.30pm.

It wasn't the difficult paper I envisioned and I finished it with time to spare. I found it doable, just like Managerial Account 2.

Now, eyes will be on my final grades for the semester, which will either make or break my cumulative GPA. For studies, I have never wanted something more than I want my GPA to reflect my hard work. Seriously, I have put in so much effort and sheer hard work this 3 years, and I don't want it to all go to naught just because of one lousy semester.

So, after the paper, my group and I went down to Timbre at Clarke Quay to celebrate. I have never been to that part before so it was truly an experience. Since we reached at about 6pm, we were their first customers.

My friend ordered a Margarita and I drank 2 sips. It was not bad, except that I like it better when the ice melted. We left before the live band started.

And that day was officially the last day of the Poly life. I can't say whether I am sad to leave because I am still not recovering from the "high" that is holidays.

I have push myself really hard these past weeks, even going into computer-celibacy. I never have chance for leisure reading and I cut down on time spent online during the exam season. During projects, all I did was surfed the net for related subjects.

I expect that withdrawal symptoms will kick in soon.

One thing I hope to get fulfil before University starts is to, of course, go for a vacation in the States. Really, really, please. I want to do something for myself once. I need a fairy godmother.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Preparation for Exams

In the midst of studying for MA2 paper this Friday.

Since Saturday, I have been pacing myself to finish studying, re-doing all tutorials and completing two sets of past exam papers, all in the name of preparing for the paper.

Today is Wednesday, and I am ready to take on the paper. I can hardly wait to do it, to get it over and done with. I can't say that I'm ready for the exam, but I feel like I have studied enough.

If only those who studied hard will be rewarded, alas, that is not always the case.

I know, I am neglecting Legal Aspects of Business in favour of MA2. But I don't do multi-tasking for exams. It's either this or that. And with one paper not yet done, I can't move on to the next.

I am hard-press for time to study for law.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Viva La Liberation

Disappointment. Cut by a knife.

What do these words have in common? In this semester, I have received a horrifying D and C+. Never in my 6 semesters have I received such a bad grade before, perhaps only once in Year 1.1 for some minor individual project.

Semester 3.2 is easily the WORST semester ever in my entire life in TP.

Good gods! The tides have turned. The tables are turned. The stakes are stacked sky-high, tethering over me like a tower of cards. Those cards which I thought I carefully built up.

Why?! What a crap of a semester! I feel like cursing at the unfairness of it all! What are the odds that we get less-than-stellar lecturers, disgusting subjects (I'm looking at you, International Business and Managerial Accounting 2), difficult and vague projects (once again, International Business), unnecessary tests and examinations that ruin my life all in one semester?

It's like a present, only one that is meant to hurt.

Seriously, I am depressed and worried over my cumulative GPA. Before the disasters, I had gleefully thought that I should be able to get a place in NUS. That is my goal, to get into one of the 3 local Universities with a diploma. This means a lot to me, to the meaning in life.

NUS is the top choice. NTU next and SMU last.

Do you realise how dash and miserable I'll be when I received the text in March with my crappy results? I'll probably bawl my eyes out.

I'm not always this competitive. Even now, I don't think I am that actively seeking competition. Sure, I would want to know who are the main competitors and the worthy ones, at least in my class.

For me, it's like being middle-class. You are not worse off than some (those who fail, get Cs and Ds) but you are not better off too. I guess I can never be on par to those high achievers and high flyers. I reckon I am content being middle-class, because there are many layers to it. As long as I am above average, that will make me happy.

It's not like I want to compare, I mean, you can't be in your world right? I wish I had it easy, once upon a time, Bs are all that I want, but it's not possible now. Not when I had a piece of recognition and I want more. I need more.

As are what I what.

You have no idea how low my spirits got when I saw the grade on the law project. It's so horrible that if I got it back, I'll burn it. A freaking C+! I can't believe my eyes when I saw it. The D I received for Managerial Accounting 2 paper was alright because it was truly difficult. But this, did I expect it? Never!

I hate the lecturer from then on. It's not like she is a good tutor to begin with. It's the last lesson anyway, the chances of seeing her again is close to nil.


I'm practical. I am good to those who are good to me. And I bear a grudge to those who don't. It's life. I often think back of the old times, even in primary school, when I had the good fortune to meet good teachers who really make a difference. Alas, the black sheep among the teaching body grew with each level of education.

Look at the example in my school. Yes, they may have the experience, skills and qualifications needed in the working world do not mean that they can teach. Some of them just drone on and on and on (the finger is pointing at you, Managerial Accounting 2).

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Grouses

Why am I having so many grouses now? Sighs, all I can say is that this is the last time anyway. I am thankful that once the project is passed up tomorrow, I will be free, for now.

Seriously, I don't understand. I am no perfectionist, sure, I like things to be neat, tidy and done a certain way but I can be hardly called obsessed.

Consider this my last gift to them, I am not saying they are of no help at all. But when I am doing most of the stuff, well, my temper is going to take a blow.

If not the high stakes stack against me, if not for my desire to score, I would have a heck-care attitude too, I reckon. Sometimes, I wonder how people will cope without me...

I'll laugh when I get a good grade for International Business. I know I definitely deserve it because I put in so much effort and care. I did the most research and all that jazz. Ha, so be it.

Fingers crossed.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Miffed

I'm miffed. Not freaking pissed off, but just a little miffed.

Is it the stress getting to me or something else?

I know I am blessed with pretty competent group members. I know that I'm not that perfect myself. That's why you don't see me complaining until now. I have to admit I am a little angry at the work they are producing now, some more than the others.

One and a half years, I reckon our group is one of the few who have withstand internal conflicts and free-riders. But, of course, not all is rosy. I feel that we are just tolerating for each other's sake and to keep the peace at large.

I am certainly tolerating some of them and thankfully, this matter will just stop here since this is the last term and the last week. Besides, it's not as if they are free-riders or do not do work at all. And they are useful in certain tasks I am not good in, so I can hardly complain, can I?

Perhaps, I would feel that some are a bit clueless. Or maybe my mind whirl too fast for their own good. I don't understand why I have to keep repeating myself and they still don't get the gist of the point. I remembered it was the same in the past and luckily, I insisted the project to be done that way and look what I got myself, a distinction.

I'm not saying that I am always right or infallible. On the contrary, I depend on them too. I can't do it without them and neither can they do it without me.

Sighs, only 4 more days. Correction, only 3 more days till the last project!

I can only keep my comments to myself. And this thought chilled me, I still have group work to look forward to in University and god knows I won't be so lucky to score responsible and competent group members every single time.

Somehow, I was never the same after internship.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Wish: USA

Ok, I really, really want to go to USA once I graduated from Poly. Like seriously.

I have been looking forward to this trip since last year and have save quite a sum for it. All the money I earn from my work and internship are in the bank, waiting to be spent.

It's now or never. I don't mean for it to sound so morbid but it's true. This is a good time to just "let down my hair" and be sinful for a couple of weeks. You would think that after more than 13 years of schooling and stress, I deserve that two weeks vacation.

Anyway, I am not intending to use the parents' money for this trip. Everything will come from my own pocket and it will be sweet.

When will I ever get the time and spirit to truly enjoy myself again? University is not going to be a blast and it only means more stress to come once the term starts. After that, perhaps there will be time for a graduation trip and then it's out to the working world.

And you know what happens when you have a real job - no more holidays! All you get are public holidays and 14 days of leave. But when you are old, going on a trip seems to be a drag?

Recently, I and a couple of friends were lamenting how difficult Life is. Truly, when you are this young, with a long future in front of you, you have to wonder how to make it right.

To project it to the future, how can we cramp University, work and getting hitched into the 10 years before hitting 30? To me, 30 is considered old, in a way. As a friend puts it, by 30, she wants to accomplish something.

Well, well, well. I guess I'm glad that I am not the only one getting all jittery and suffering from what is coined "quarter-life crisis". I used to think I worry and want too much. I am not really to grow up and be an Adult. I am responsible, yes, but to tackle all these issues, gods, I have no confidence in myself, at all.

So what now? I can always go to Orlando during the year, but there is nothing to cheer about. I am planning to use this trip to reward myself for all these years in school and all that jazz. Now, the plans seem to go down into the drain, and I don't know how to salvage it.

The big problem here is NO ONE can accompany me. It is too expensive, for one. And with me having no confidence to make this trip alone, I have no idea how to pull this off. Countless of people travel by themselves daily, I don't see why I can't do it. And what with the distance being so far away, I need someone by my side!

I can go to LA, but there is no one to accompany me to Orlando, Florida and this is the crucial part of this trip. It may sounds silly a reason to make this trip because of the Wizarding World but I don't see why can't I enjoy what I want.

I still wish I can make it. This will be the greatest thing I done for myself. I hope that somehow, I can go there, even if it's only one or two days in Orlando.

I want to shop till I drop too. Shop and sightsee, oh please. I can always find my friend in LA and then travel to Orlando by myself and stay inside Universal Studios where it is deem safer. The only downside is that I won't be able to venture outside of Universal Studios.

Truth is, I only have enough to make this one trip, and make it memorable I shall. After that, it's saving all the way till I can go for my University graduation trip.

There is simply no second chance. This is why I am in such a dilemma. I want to seriously enjoy myself, do the things I want and plan to do. If there is a compromise, it depends on what it shall be.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Hiatus

Hiatus again, I know.


Life is hectic, or should I say, school is hectic. There's only less than a month before this all ends. And then what?


It's Lunar New Year again! I'm so glad that I get this small break in the middle of the week, no less.


I had no classes on Wednesday so it's an extra day off for me. The best thing is, the weather cleared up as soon as the first day of the new year rolled in. How awesome is that?


Lunar new year's eve reunion dinner is an annual affair of steamboat. I look forward to this day every year, partly because it is the only time we get to eat steamboat. After the satisfying dinner, we watched Red Cliff and received red packets from the adults.


The first day of the new year started the same as every year. There were only a few houses to visit and we went to my cousin's house afterwards. Dinner was KFC.


If there's one thing I look forward, it's the "binge-eating" and unhealthy food you shoved into your mouth. No proper food for two days made one missed normal dishes.


The second day was more fun as we went to Sentosa in the evening. Gods, the place was teeming with tourists from the region and it was too crowded for me. Went the Candylicious but ended up not buying anything.

All too soon, the chinese new year break came to an end and I can only look forward to it next year. Sighs, what will next year brings?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No Rest for the Weary

It's been a busy week and more to come. What else is new right?

This week, it's all about touching up on projects and studying for the mid-semester tests. I like to do things one at a time, but alas, the schedule hardly allows me to do so.

3 days of evening tests makes me a unhappy person. It means going home late, and seriously, 3 days of exams in a row?

I'm kind of in a blank, so there's nothing much to write on. There is no chance to enjoy the last semester of the polytechnic life.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Pre-U Jitters

Is it me, or everyone who face this?

I am graduating in 2 months time, gasp! The formal graduation ceremony will be in May but still, in 2 months!

Till today, I have not given much substantial thoughts on University. As much as I am paranoid, I still go by the concept of "living for the day". To me, it have been " I will think about it when the boat docks".

It's like secondary-tertiary drama again. People say "you only live once, so realise your dreams and lead your own life". However, there is also a saying of "you only live once, make the best out of it".

These two phases are different, no? One is saying you should be daring, dream and go far, fulfill your dreams to the fullest. On the other hand, you should planned out your path carefully, and not to make stupid mistakes.

Polytechnic-University is a phrase where it is the hardest to overcome. I made up my mind to go to a University when I was in secondary school, my goal is further cemented by my good results. It is not always smooth-sailing for me but I get by.

You think I don't want to choose what I like? For some reason, I find myself liking Economics and want to take that as a major. But, come to think of it, I think I'll pass. First, I don't have the confidence to do well.

You may think it's paranoid, but it's University. It's not child's play. It's not like secondary school where you can get through without much injuries, I know, I failed A Maths for nearly all 2 years until O levels. It's not even like polytechnic.

The fees for a semester in University is atrocious and I don't have the money to spend on finding my interest, thank you very much.

In the University life I envision, I don't want to slave all day long just to scrape a pass. As much as studies are concerned, I want to take breaks in between too. Some people are so good that they can juggle between friends, activities, studies, work and still score.

I am not that, unfortunately. I work myself off to get to where I am, which is not much.

Back to the issue of Economics. Generally, students agree that Economics is a hard major. But, they also say, if that's where your interest lies, you will have the passion to do well. To my horror, calculus and maths are part of economics.

What a bummer! I am hopeless in maths. I scraped pass A Maths, thinking I'll never get through that nightmare again.

I rather do well in something I have no interest in than to scrape a pass for something I am interested in. Really. To put another analogy, if you know for certain that it's a hard life you'll lead with someone, why do you still choose to marry him? Love can only get you that far.

Same here. I will only regret it if I make impulsive decisions. I used to make them in the past, but thankfully, I got out of the 'mess'.

Mind over heart. For too long, I have allow my heart to make decisions. I want to weigh the pros and cons of each potential decision before settling on the one that is the best for me in the long run.

Looking at all the courses, I don't know which to take. I am completely ruling out Engineering and Chemistry. Maths is out too, there is just something in me that can't handle maths, especially calculus.

We'll see, won't we?

Stuck

Another year. To go from an end to a start takes only a short transaction. But for a start to reach an end, wow, it takes ages.

Friday's night was a blast. We ate at Bakerzin at Jurong Point and played two rounds of bowling.

Sometimes, I amazed myself with my bowling skills. I do not have the strength to exactly swing the ball and roll, you see. My style is practically non-existence. However, I did manage to hit a score of 100, not bad for someone who play for a few times a year.

I still remembered that humiliating experience when I went for the bowling trial in my school.

After that, we went to TCC at Clarke Quay to pass time before making our way down to Marina Bay to be part of the crowds for the countdown.

The fireworks were beautiful, as always. It was a nightmare after that ended though, as expected that huge crowds were eager to be out and what was made worse was people pushing and squeezing.

I had my first anxiety attack of the year. Some inconsiderate people kept pushing and in my mind, I was thinking what will happen if there is a stampede. Or worse, given these unstable circumstances around the world, a bomb threat.

In the end, the roads that were cornered off by barricades were pushed aside by anxious people and we're literally stopping traffic. All the people, including us, flooded the roads, just like that. The traffic lights makes no difference as were the cars, since they were the ones not moving.

We got stuck in the middle of the road because it was another bottleneck in front. It was a traffic jam alright.

I witnessed a bus with passengers on it being pushed by a commuter and a couple of traffic police opening the road for it.

As most people swarmed to the nearby MRT station, we breathed a sign of relief as we got into our cars. Of course, we got caught in another jam but it wasn't as bad.

It was 2 am plus when we reached home. I can only imagine the conditions on the public transport. Phew, I was lucky enough not be one of the commuters.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

The Year MMXI


Pop the champagne bottle!

It's a brand new spanking year, everyone! Though there is not much difference between the last day of 2010 and the first day of 2011, the new year stills seem to thrill.

Let's ring in the new year with deadlines, exams and oh, graduation. How lovely, if you get my satirical tone.

By the way, did I mention that my ex-boss in that godforsaken ex-company still owe me the very important performance appraisal? Seriously, what is wrong with his mind?! Is it that difficult to do it, and mail it to me.

I told him that I have definitely have to get it by this, no, last year. He gave me his promise. Hmm, from what I learn in contract law, there is a binding contract between us. The offer is accepted by both the offeror (me) and the offeree (him).

Now what? I sms-ed him freaking twice to remind him of the importance. What did I get? Nothing, nada, nil. The way he does things is starting to piss me off. To think I wrote good things about his company. Pheesh, I pity whoever is interning with him this year.

Gods, what is so difficult about sending a reassuring sms, or an email telling me that he has sent that letter. Is it so freaking difficult?! Huh?

30-35% of my grade is in that appraisal. Do you think I like being a "loanshark"? It does reflect badly on me, doesn't it? But what can I do? If I do things otherwise, I'll only be letting myself down.

I have come too far to let everything go to waste. I've been the perfect "servant" for 11 weeks, the last thing they can give me is to pass me back my appraisal.

I thought I can leave those memories in the past, but it seems to haunt me till today.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Year Gone By


Woah, hold that champagne bottle! New Year is not here, not yet anyway.

Where has the year gone?! I wonder. It seems like I just read the newspaper about the The Aughties and write that post to celebrate 2010.

Looking back, 2010 is a year filled to the brim with events and memorable memories.

The inaugural Youth Olympics Games held in Singapore, now who can forget that? It was a defining moment for us as we stood in the stands at The Float singing the National Anthem and world youth athletes celebrated their legacy. We are part of history.

Riverdance at Marina Bay Sands is another first. Riverdance tours is bidding Singapore goodbye and I am so glad that I managed to catch it live, for the first time at the gleaming new Marina Bay Sands theater.

Not to mention, this is our first time staying at Marina Bay Sands, in a suite no less. The view from the Sky Park is amazing and now I see can why it is the new jewel in the skyline of Singapore.

I got into Director's Honours List 2010 which made the past year of hard work worth it. I have been waiting for that day for one year. To earn that certificate is more than what I deserve.

How could I forget the 11weeks of internship that haunts me till this day. It was, overall, a good experience but I wouldn't want to do it again. Now, that is one thing best left in the past.

On the entertainment side, 2010 earns special mention for "movies of the year". There is the start of an end - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Eclipse, Rapunzel: A Tangled Tale, How to Train your Dragon, Alice in Wonderland etc.

There is also the grand opening of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park at Orlando, Florida, World Cup at South Africa which Paul the Oracle Octopus got famous, the problems-packed Commonwealth Games at India and many more.
Orchard Road flooding, anyone? Where passers-by were trapped by knee-height muddy waters along the prized shopping belt. Now, that was memorable because up till that day, flooding in Singapore is close to non-existence.
Other more sombre matters to note are Mdm Kwa Geok Choo's passing - others would remember her as the late Mrs Lee, the Downtown East fatal slashing where apparently gangs are still thriving in Singapore.

Like always, I don't want the year to end. It's too fast, always too fast for me to play catch up. I look back and think, why? Year 2010 leaves much to be desired and yet, 2011 is not any better. For a start, the first 2 months are jam-packed of exams and projects submissions and did I mention, I am graduating.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

White Christmas 2010

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, and got the wish!

Except that we are situated along the equator, and that makes the temperatures up in the sky impossible for snow to form. But, we got the precipitation form.

Christmas eve was as awesome as always. I had to work till 6.30pm though, but that's alright. With the table groaning under the weight of all that food, we toasted to a happy holiday season. There was a brand new Christmas tree and of course, there were lots of presents under it. Santa has been to town.

We sang along to Christmas carols, and played games. We had to draw lots for the presents and had plenty of laughter.

Christmas morning came bright and early and we met up for a session of bowling at Safra Changi. I didn't play because I had my nails all nicely done up in pink with blue glitter french tips.

It was a wet Christmas alright. It was raining and drizzling the whole day.

We went to an Aunt's house to gather for another Christmas feast and rushed down to Plaza Singapura to catch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawntreader.

As always, like every year, Orchard was filled to the brim with revellers. After dinner at Sakae Sushi at Orchard Central, we waited till the rain stopped before strolling down Orchard Road to soak in the yuletide spirit and take in the lights.

After that, we had a coffee break at TCC and just in time to be in the shelter before the downpour begun. It will be the perfect Christmas if only the rain took a solid form. Instead of being in the shelter, we'll be in our winter wear with snow falling on our heads.

I wondered what happened to those people behind us and those VIPs watching the open-air concert in the middle of the road, caught in the sudden downpour. I guessed it will be a mad dash.

All too soon, it was time to part and yet another Christmas came to an end. It was a great season, with lots of songs, activities and memories.

Cheers to years of glorious Christmases ahead!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Finally

Ho, ho, ho! I had finally had the interview with my ex-boss and I got my cheque. Phew, I thought I will never see the day. There's only the performance appraisal left. But, they say they will mail it by year's end.

As Christmas nears, I am sort of getting a whiplash. I dread it, yet love the whole season in general. Why dread, you ask? It's because it means a lot to me, to see it passed, means I will have to wait for another year.

Seriously, the prospect of the new year is not very tempting. I guess I dread 2011 more than any other years because I will be graduating soon. Like real soon. And I have been in a "quarter-life crisis" since I was in secondary school.

I want to continue studying, really. But, we'll see how it goes. I seem to remember vaguely the troubles I have when I left secondary school and going on to tertiary education.

Ahh well, I want to promise that I won't put any more depressing posts, at least till the end of the year. I'll try.

Monday, December 20, 2010

White December

By Canele
Only 5 days to Christmas.

December always move too fast for my liking. For 11 months, I lamented over the slow pace of the year, yet when December comes around, it just disappears in a twinkle of an eye.

After this week, it's the New Year's week and poof! 2011 is here. Arghhh, no! It's too fast, I have yet to enjoy myself fully.

I always hate the new year, it's a year of beginnings, expectations and hopes. And I dislike that. There is the feeling that you have aged one more year, and the world will be different.

It's another year to endure. I'm the type of person who looks back and thinks of the good old days.

We all dream of a white Christmas, especially in the tropics. But, as you know, too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. Just look at the conditions in Europe now, I'll bet they are sick and tired of the snow.

Indeed, the heavy snow storms and blizzards wrecked havoc and chaos across Europe. From London to Paris to Belgium, international airports has to close in the busiest season. Traffic comes to a standstill and people are suffering.

Next week, I will compile a list of the interesting events that took place in Singapore and the days which are the most memorable in my life.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Not Amused

I. Am. Not. Amused. At. All.

You can be sure that I am not a happy camper. I mean, not a peep from those in the godforsaken company since the 15th, which is supposed to be pay day. So, what now? Pray tell.

I have signed myself for their Christmas party thing, which is lucky they invite us. Wow, I never thought I will see this day. *Roll eyes* I signed myself up so that I can have this chance to get things over and done with. At least, when you are face to face with those people, you can ask them and get the answers, or at least some sort of confirmation.

Why are they doing this to us anyway!? Any remote fondness I have of them is now passe. You are kidding me if you thought that I will be like a good little dog to go running back.

Like I said over and over again, if not for that project in which I have to interview an entrepreneur, I wouldn't have bother that much. No pay? I'll just let the liaison officer handle it. No appraisal? Tell the liaison officer.

Just because I have this little bright spot I have to erase, I have to grit my teeth to bear with this kind of nonsense. Now I know how those salespeople feel when people bang the door on their faces. How rude, just because you are "high and mighty".

I don't know, I can keep trying, but that just shows how desperate I am and I hate that feeling. I suppose I can look for a back-up, but who? Who is an entrepreneur, whom I know of?

Time will tell, for now, I am looking at this issue from all kinds of angles, thinking of different problems that could arise and how to solve them.

Tis the season to be jolly? You bet. Not.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Grrr

Grrr, I am really pissed off right now. And it's all thanks to that stupid company which I used to intern with. Right, the problem is that they still own me my pay.

I am angry because they did not bother to even message me to tell me that the pay cheque is out. What the crap?

Second thing is that I email the boss, wanting to have an interview with him for my project. Ok, I am the desperate one here. I want to get things done, as soon as possible. Therefore, I am pushing for the interview to be done pronto.

Not to mention, I have yet to get my appraisal. Gods, why are things so messed up? I hate it when things are left hanging. I really do.

Please, just let me do this according to what I want.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Flustering

It's a week to Christmas and I am in a fluster. It's all pointless worries, maybe. The year is ending and I have so much to accomplish, to do, to hand up. I have deadlines to meet, which stinks.
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The more I think about, the more depressing it seems. I can't even properly enjoy Christmas and New Year in peace. I hope to finish what I want to accomplish by the first week.
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I don't know, I need to get back on my feet again. After nearly 3 months of internship, which I have sort of lost track with, I can't find myself. Like my friends, I shared the same feelings as them.
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You CAN'T be a zombie when you are in school, that's for sure. Back in internship, it's all robotic and you can shut your mind out. When the sun sets, oh, it's time to go home and enjoy yourself before repeating the motion again for the next day.

I like school, I just don't like the responsibilities you have for yourself, the stress you pile yourself with.

I'm very bothered by the fact that I am relying on the company to help me in my individual project. Please, if not for that, and my pay and appraisal, I wouldn't have care about what they are doing or whatever.

All that I do, I do it for myself.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Commercialised Christmas


Who doesn't love Christmas? Not me, for certain. In fact, I love Christmas and it is one of my favourite holidays of the year.
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What's that not to like? The sights. The sounds. The smells. The feel. Christmas fills your five senses and it's everywhere!
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People have been saying for years that Christmas has become too commercialised. I agree but that is partly what I love about this festive holiday.
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The Christmas advertisements for various shopping malls, the streets all decked in in Christmas finery. The fake poinsettias and wreaths. Christmas shopping and exchanging presents have all but become part of the norm, even a tradition.
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I grow in an environment of commercialised Christmases. Besides, I am not a religious person so Christmas is all about chocolates, lots of goodies, sales, presents and being with family. I can enjoy everything at its fullest, from Ole St Nick to Christmas trees to presents to traditional Christmas songs.
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Don't be mistaken though, I love the idea of traditional Christmas too. You know, snow gently falling outside, logs smothering in the fireplace, sharing a toast and roasting chestnuts, building a snowman, having a real Christmas tree. I love all those and it's one of the dreams of mine to live this out.
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I want to celebrate a white Christmas, not what Europe is facing now though. But, when you situated in Singapore, the epitome of what Christmas is not, you have to make it work. No snow will be falling but we make do.
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Christmas always makes me nostalgic, as I have said over again. I don't know why but I just feel that another year is ending and I didn't achieve what I wanted. Somehow I feel a little excluded, like a person who look from outside at the celebrations going on inside a house. It's silly thinking but Christmas makes me feel that way.
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I make it a point to visit Orchard when it's near Christmas time to soak in this festive spirits. I want to see the Christmas lights and take in the sights of the wondrous displays of presents and sales. I love the sounds of Christmas carols in the air and the bags of presents that shoppers carried.
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Commercialism has never look so good.